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Self Denial
When I think of self-denial defined this way, I think of self-condemnation.
Self-denial as I am using the term, comes in varying degrees but at every level it is self-destructive. Sometimes self-denial starts as simple as doubt. Initially, you could doubt something and this could expand to self-doubt. Having doubt, even some self-doubt is perfectly natural but not when it culminates in self-denial.
Ultimately you can even deny being you. Abandonment and self-denial often go hand and hand. If you can see that you may be still denying yourself to who you are, then it’s time to awaken. For this reason, I would ask you to be especially open and compassionate –with yourself.
Let me say again that self-denial, as I am defining it, is actually denying who you are. It is self-condemnation. It is your refusal to see yourself, be yourself and even express yourself. No matter what you do, if you don’t truly see yourself as you are, you’re lost.
Discover the three most common ways of self denial and what to do about them. The only reason that these common types of self-condemnation have are discussed is so you are now aware and can’t be trapped by these means of self-denial. Self-denial of any form takes us in the wrong direction both in awareness and of course in practice. You can steer yourself to accepting all of your power and potential to create.
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Thank you for joining us for this podcast episode 006 of
True Connections with Weston Jolly
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Transcription:
There are certain physical and spiritual challenges in this life that can be perceived to be as hard as climbing K2, the second highest mountain in the world. Abandonment is one of those spiritual challenges. But abandonment is only second to another challenge that is even higher or tougher. I’ll introduce you to that topic, one of the life’s tallest tests, in one minute.
First, let me talk about the challenge of abandonment. Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple, probably died with rejection issues. He was born to unwed parents that put him up for adoption. It’s got to be tough, really tough, to start life knowing that you aren’t wanted.
Even though Steve Job created a lifetime of success, sometimes heavy-duty issues like abandonment, aren’t all that easy to overcome. Steve Jobs continued this pattern of abandonment with his own firstborn daughter – Lisa. Yeah, you remember, Steve argued against the 94% conclusive DNA test that his firstborn child wasn’t his.
In time, Steve Jobs finally recanted his denial first but not after pursuing legal action against his daughter’s mother. By any definition, Steve Jobs was a genius but I’ll bet he didn’t see this pattern of denial until it was literally shown to him. And again, it wasn’t because he was stupid. Likely he was following emotions that he probably felt like were wired within him.
But there is another issue that is even tougher than abandonment –and it is self-denial. I’m not talking about religious abstinence. Or not allowing yourself to purchase something. Or curbing your desires.
I am talking about self-denial, where you actually deny who you are. This definition of self-denial is the Mount Everest of challenges. This type of self-denial is a completely different level of not being wanted. It’s one thing not to be wanted externally by your own parents, family and even community, but it’s a whole another level when you deny yourself.
When I think of self-denial defined this way, I think of self-condemnation. Actually, I think of one word. It’s one my least favorite words for this reason, and the word is –goddamn. Like any other word, it’s just a word, but it does encase energy of damning of the self.
Self-denial as I am using the term, comes in varying degrees but at every level it is self-destructive. Sometimes self-denial starts as simple as doubt. Initially, you could doubt something and this could expand to self-doubt. Having doubt, even some self-doubt is perfectly natural but not when it culminates in self-denial.
It’s totally wild that anyone would deny himself or herself in any form, but everyone does. What’s truly amazing is that we’re the only species on Earth that can actually deny who we are. I mean have you’ve never met a dog that woke up in the morning contemplating if it was a dog. Have you? I don’t think so…
You can. You can actually deny yourself. This can be done in any way that you like. You can deny your body. You can deny that your gender as woman… or as a man. You can deny your sexuality. You can deny your intelligence. You can deny your marriage and you can even deny your children.
Ultimately you can even deny being God.
Oh boy, don’t think for a moment, that I don’t know what I just said. In fact, for some this statement may be considered offensive. Let me be clear, it isn’t my intent to be disrespectful of anyone’s belief; I am only presenting the point that you are indeed a creator. And clearly, you have the option to deny yourself of this truth. Going further, you can even damn yourself.
I hope not. It is very much my intention that you wouldn’t. I hope to illuminate your path with three common types of self-condemnations so you won’t be trapped by these means of self-denial.
There’s a reason I first mentioned the issue of abandonment before presenting our topic of self-denial, and that’s because they often go hand and hand. It’s easy to conceive that if Steve Job’s parents didn’t want him – nobody would. As his own parents denied him it’s not a stretch to conceive that Steve could have denied himself. Certainly, on some levels, I present to you that he did.
This is not to condemn him, or anybody else, but rather to provide a threshold to observe. If you can see that you may be still denying yourself to who you are, then it’s time to awaken. For this reason, I would ask you to be especially open and compassionate –with yourself. Appreciate the three points that you will hear in honor that on some level you want to see some of these basic states of self-denial to make a change.
Let me say again that self-denial, as I am defining it, is actually denying who you are. It is self-condemnation. It is your refusal to see yourself, be yourself and even express yourself. No matter what you do, if you don’t truly see yourself as you are, you’re lost.
So, what are the top three observable aspects of self denial?
They are; denying your body. Denying your being. Denying your spiritual self.
Don’t worry we’re going to spend some time discussing these three means of self-denial.
Self-denial of the body is the most common means of denying your self. Have you ever looked in the mirror wondering if it was really your body? I’ve talked to many people whom feel estranged in their own body. They describe it, as if it’s not their body. Like they’re riding around in someone else’s physique.
Imagine seeing yourself dressed as an astronaut; bubble head, a sizeable backpack on your back, all attached to a full-sized body suit including bulky gloves that are so big that they prevent your hand’s natural movement. The whole space suit is an encumbrance. You can’t move properly. What if that was your body?
You can feel your self, your real body, underneath the space suit but all you see is the large constitution with its layers of protection. You wouldn’t be wrong to feel like the space suit isn’t your body, but it does represent what‘s been recently created. Denying your self, specifically, denying your body is the most common aspect of self-denial.
Self-denial of the body much of the time is accumulative. Over time, if there is a disdain for one’s self, then that body will demonstrate those results. Every body expresses the values of self-love or self-denial. The diversity of these ideals is clearly evidenced in your body.
Anyone who has grown up with unsafe feelings due to an abusive environment frequently carries that same energy in their body. This can feel like you are a carrier of something that you hate or despise. In a way it’s logical, but it’s also truly unfair that your body would, again, be the target of such abuse. Unfortunately, the pattern transfers to self-abuse, and it’s typical.
Self-denial begets self-hatred. A disconnection of one’s body self is done through numbness and lack of self-awareness on the most physical level. Habits of self-denial set in and become a way of life. Self-denial escalates even further and the body becomes a suit, just like the astronaut’s suit, which is designed to protect from the dangers of being in space.
If any of this resonates with you please be aware that you’re not trapped. You don’t need to be ensnared. All self-denial is taught. It’s just a pattern. Like Steve Jobs not being wanted by his natural parents and then being blind to not wanting his own daughter, you too can free yourself.
The second point of self-denial is denying your being.
You may wonder what it means to deny your being? I know I did; so, I asked for some help from Source. Here’s what was shared.
You can “be” anything you want. Many times people choose to be something different than they actually are. This is seen by the way that they’ll present themselves in one aspect of society versus another.
I asked further, could you even be more specific?
We’re glad too. As you acknowledge the incorporation of your mind, body, soul as a package; one that isn’t separate, you can appreciate it as your state of being.
Being yourself isn’t just following the stars in terms of the characteristics presented to you as your “favored” choices in acting or reacting to the stimulus around you. These characteristics are all perspectives. Perspectives that you get to choose before coming down into your body.
You can change your personality in the same way that you can destroy and rebuild your body. You can even deny your being. But this is the point, isn’t it? That you wouldn’t deny your being.
After channeling this, I really started thinking about this point, self-denial of your being. This Higher perspective of self-denial of being really turned my head around. I could see where I have denied portions of my own personality. Why would anyone deny himself or herself in this way?
The answer is easy; it wasn’t something I egotistically favored. As a Gemini, there are certain traits that I lovingly embrace as means of describing my being. And there are other characteristics within this Zodiac sign that my friends and family may laugh and appreciate and that I may truly want to deny. That I have denied.
The same would be true for a personality test such as the Myers-Biggs Type Indicator. If you were tested and categorized you might find that you love certain characteristics of your personality while wanting to deny others. This is the point of the standardization isn’t it? To create an awareness of our being, at least in this format, in terms of your personality.
Self-denial of your entire being is a whole new depth of denial. To deny your body seems drastic enough but to actual deny your entire being is even more extreme. To quote again what was stated in the channeling, As you acknowledge the incorporation of your mind, body, soul as a package; one that isn’t separate, you can appreciate it as your state of being. Naturally, Source is encouraging a connection to this state of being versus our separation.
The third common form of self-denial, is denying your spiritual self.
As if the other two forms of self-denial weren’t enough, this point takes our understanding of self-denial to a whole new scale. Your spiritual self is the Soul of who you are underneath your body. Your Spirit doesn’t incorporate your body, as you might think does. Your Spirit is so unlimited that you body couldn’t possibly incorporate it.
These things can be hard to understand but try and imagine flying in a plane and looking out the window and seeing all the endless clouds in the sky. Now picture trying to scoop up the vast clouds with a palm-sized glass jar and putting a lid on it. It’s a hopeless task. The jar, or your body, can’t possibly contain the infinite facets of Spirit.
While technically, it’s impossible to deny your Spirit, you can illusionary create separation from it. This kind of self-denial of your spiritual self would then be the most severe type. This is when you take your infinite powers, place them in the tiniest vessel such as your body, and even deny that. This is the severest form of disability.
To cut yourself off from your power as a creator is to reduce yourself to the mere presence of the chemical compounds that compose your body. There is no life in these chemical elements, they only describe and categorize the individual pieces of matter. What I am trying to describe is the enormity of what happens when you deny your spiritual self. When you self-deny your ability as a creator you are denying life.
Let me explain further, through self-denial of your spiritual self you cut off your lifeline to empowerment. In actuality you ignore it. It’s still there but it’s forgotten. You become like a leaf blowing in the wind instead of knowing that you are the ground, the garden, the tree, the leaf and the sky.
Every person on Earth is given access to this infinite spiritual power. The power to create. The power of desire. And the power to manifest.
In the same way that this power is given, it also can be denied. The power doesn’t really go away, and much as it lays dormant in anyone’s choice to deny it. I’ve spent the entirety of my life pursuing a greater understanding of spirituality and only recently have I become cognizant of this attribute of self-denial of my spiritual self. And it’s the entire reason I’ve produced this podcast of self-denial.
Why are we trained to think that it’s blasphemous to be God as a Creator? Almost everyone denies this spiritual power that forms their own body and every other part of life. This energy is infinite, and what’s really wild, is you don’t even need to believe in it.
Self-denial of your spiritual self could be described as the single most self-destructive choice that could ever be made. In today’s world, and for the past 75 years since the invention of the atomic bomb, the world has never experienced such damaging power. The power of your spiritual self is so infinitely much stronger that it’s actually hard to compare it. It’s that amazing.
So there you have it. We have now talked about three common ways of self-denial. The first is self-denial of the body. You remember this is where we are in our bodies but we refute that they’re ours. As if we’re living in a foreign space suit.
The second means of self-denial is in denying your being. This is where we deny the whole package of our mind, body and spirit of ourselves. Egotistically, we may favor parts and pieces of our personality while also denying the pieces that we’d not like to claim as truth. We can also deny ourselves to such an extent that it truly feels real to be lost. Energetically, we can feel like aren’t really here and everything is pushing or pulling at us.
Thirdly, we have discussed how self-denial of your spiritual self is the greatest of omissions. To deny the power of your spirit and your Soul, even partially, limits the infinite, even in this physical form to almost nothing. We have also learned that denying our ability to create is no different than creating any other self-manifested liability. To cement this thought, I want you to imagine yourself being fully able bodied and sitting in a wheelchair never to walk again.
In conclusion, the only reason that these three common types of self-condemnation have been discussed is so you are now aware and can’t be trapped by these means of self-denial. Self-denial of any form takes us in the wrong direction both in awareness and of course in practice. There’s a lot that can be done to steer yourself to accepting all of your power and potential to create. And if want more information or help on this topic or another, let me know…
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SOMETHING MORE
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