The Church Can’t Control Sex

Church Can't Control Sex

Lightning bolt hitting a Church

Why do all of the top four religions of the world have rules about sex? Why does the Church, or any religious organization, seek to control love, relationship and sex? Is there a secret in the nature of sexual energy that needs to be regulated?

There are many rules about love.  For healthy balanced adults, do we need supervision?  You know what I mean, why is there this heavy restriction on whom we can be in relationship with?  Who gets to determine who and how you fall in love?

Trying to enforce love, partnerships and sex with guilt and shame isn’t a healthy solution.  An article wonderfully titled The Catholic Church Needs a Sex Talk is already seven years old.  It’s ancient in terms of what’s happening today. #Metoo isn’t going to stop until change is made. After seven years it would seem would see some progress…

This is the heart of where change needs to made.  It starts with you. Maybe you’re not aware of the rules concerning love, sex and relationship?  Come listen.



Thank you for joining us for this podcast episode 026 of
True Connections with Weston Jolly



Only on Earth do you find so many rules surrounding the need to control love and even sex. Historically, the Church, which references any organized religious body, has numerous laws on this subject. But does love need regulation? It seems almost all spiritually governing bodies have their own rules on love, marriage and sex.

Put simply these rules tell you what you can and can not do with your body. This includes what constitutes relationship and marriage too. And if you don’t know, many of these rules are very specific. And I mean very specific. First, let me zero in on what I mean by the world’s top churches or religions.

To make it easy, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism and Buddhism represent almost 80% of all religions. I’ll refer to them later as the top 4. I’ve also ranked these top religions from largest to smallest in terms of size. By the way, Catholics represent half of all Christian religions. This puts Catholics roughly at the same size of all Hindus. And it takes twice as many Buddhists to match the population of Catholics.

Top religions of the world by size.

The Catholic religion today, considers masturbation “morally unacceptable” or in layman’s terms a sin. Hindu and Islam both generally frown upon masturbation but to a lessor degree. And Buddhists are okay with it but not for the serious disciples whom are encouraged to celibacy. Masturbation, as an act doesn’t really get acknowledged, let alone promoted anywhere.

Well it kind of does in science. Scientifically we conclude that, “Masturbation is thought to be a common behavior.” And then right behind that, we see that same scientific study finds guilt, shame, and indulgence to be themes all religions have associated with masturbation. If that wasn’t enough, the public also views masturbation negatively as well.

Here’s the deal. I don’t care what you do. Or how you do it or with whom. Or if you choose not to do it at all, let alone with yourself. All I’m sharing is here is that there are a whole bunch of rules associated with love, sex and relationship.

My question to you is why?

Why does every religion of the world have so many rules, doctrines and judgments associated with love? I want you thinking about that. This observation is absolutely clear but most people don’t see it. I want you to see it.

There are rules for everything. For example, it’s okay to have oral sex exclusively in participation with your marital partner but only if in preparation for intercourse, so say’s the largest of the top 4. Again, top 4, references one or more of the 80% of organized religions of the world. That last word is important. … the world.

Again, I don’t care what you do or with whom. My point is that there is a guideline or a rule. Not everyone, or culture in the world observes the same rules. You can immediately see a problem brewing in that thought. But my real point is the need for people, mostly men, to make up such rules.

I’m still asking you the same question. Why the ALL the rules concerning love, sex and relationship?

It’s my desire to share with you that love from Source is in fact Divine. Tapping into Divine love, which is defined as unconditional, can be accessed in many ways. You can access Divine love through meditation. It can also take place through the energy of sex. I am also aware of agnostic individuals who don’t believe in anything about God or anything spiritual for that matter who bump into Divinity while making love.

Generally speaking, organized religion has determined to control love and sexuality because it offers you direct access to the Divine. In a nutshell, if you personally access this kind of love directly you don’t need a religion or a group. Specifically, you don’t need a religion or a church to access the Divine. Yep, this also means you don’t need me or anyone else either.

For the record, there’s nothing wrong in being a part of a group but in this context, it is not for governing reasons. You don’t have to obey certain rules, beliefs or even traditions to access the Divine. It really can be so much easier. Before I continue, I want to make sure that we’re all on the same page.

Love, sex and relationships are highly volatile subjects so allow me to be very clear. Love in this context is always offered in honor. And if in reference to another being, sexually or otherwise, it is always offered in respect. Love is never about taking.

It is always about giving and receiving. This basic definition means, when it comes to people, that both parties are mature or old enough to enter into what we generally call a “healthy relationship.” This means that love, from a romantic perspective, is not about using intelligence, emotional maturity, experience or physical dominion to take advantage of another.

What I am saying is that there is absolutely no breaching of each other’s boundaries. Consent is essential in any kind, or in any form of relationship, especially if someone isn’t old enough. Any “healthy” adult knows better than to invade the innocence of an undeveloped child. Unfortunately, this needs to be stated because even today, with all the rules offered by 80% of the world’s religions; physical, emotional and sexual violations commonly continue.

Anyone in authority, which includes priests, gurus, politicians, teachers, bosses and even mom’s and dad’s all have a huge pattern in not honoring basic human boundaries. This is especially true of children or the undeveloped. Fundamentally, there is an energy or even a power in babies and children that is so beautiful, and I’ll even say, so Divine, that the weaker soul wants to consume or take it. Again, these basic human boundaries are not even remotely honored.

In terms of this discussion, they will be. And to provide a reference point; an adult is considered to be someone emotionally stable and old enough to be make decisions consciously. To make it easy, I’ll use the age 18. However, being 18 doesn’t necessarily represent the height of intellectual, physical or emotional maturity. I think everyone can honor that.

Continuing with our definition of unconditional love, love of this nature is always kind, considerate and way beyond nice. There is a deep honoring and respect that is continuous. Consent in this way, and of every kind, is open and free flowing. If something isn’t right, both parties are responsible for taking action to be in state of consent.

This is done on all levels not the least of which is verbal. A loving awareness of consent is always present in true honor and in love of the other party. This is true even if the nature of love to be expressed is limited to the physical. This is true also for emotional love as it is for love expressed on the spiritual level.

In terms of parenting, love of this kind isn’t about having a greater authority or power and using it to break the child. Leading in love is oftentimes much harder than attaching to a rule and then enforcing that rule so that you remain in charge. Loving consent from a parental perspective is about realizing that the child, your child, needs mentorship into his or her physical and emotional development.

This past week a surveillance camera captured a school nurse and a teacher dragging an autistic child down a school hallway. This isn’t to say that someone might not need physical instruction or even guidance but dragging another human being down a hallway isn’t a loving approach. If someone was trying to hurt themselves, or others, physical constraint might be in order but again lovingly.

When we realize that love, true love is without limitations this opens you up to the Universe. However, as I’ve just mentioned, it’s not some creepy or insane reasoning or an excuse to ever violate basic human rights. Therefore, in coming forth in this discussion it will be assumed that you understand that love is not about control or some transaction whereby someone takes, consciously or not. True love is just pure.

Authentic love is without limitation. And it will immediately take you to the edge of your belief systems. These borders easily can be considered a boundary and should be treated as such. If you ever go beyond your own belief systems you’ll find that love in its truest sense is unconditional.

From a spiritual perspective, when you hit the edge of what you think love is, you’ll find that it extends. Because in defining unconditional love, it has too. This means that there is more love to experience both in giving and receiving. From a personal perspective you’ll have to determine what is right for you.

In going forward, it is greatly encouraged that you have some degree of knowing what is right for you. This is foundationally important. Regardless of what others are doing it remains vital to stay true to yourself in how you want to access love and the Divine. This assumes you know and value yourself.

This is a huge assumption because most of us haven’t taken the time to really get to know ourselves. And valuing yourself is a whole another topic, one of which I will be talking about in further detail in the near future. Think of love like a highway, where you can go as fast or as slow as you want.

There is no hurry to get someplace. This is a fallacy. Going slow can be even more challenging than drunkenly diving in. But let me be clear, there are no rules.

And as such, you can experience love in any form in whatever way feels best for you. It won’t take you long to determine that you’re uncomfortable because of some belief or maybe some past experience that you have to clear. Your body really is a temple. And as a temporary temple it’s important to clean it.

But accessing the Divine using your body is why you are here in physical form. Yes, you can get lost in physical sensations and this might explain some of the reasons why some of the dogmas seek to constrain you from getting lost in the physical. But then again, if that was the case, so what? Even in consensual physical love you can plateau in the simple pleasures. Or you can bump up further into the Divine.

There is indeed more to experience in tapping into Divine love. Divine love in all its power is not limited. There are no rules, positions, places or thoughts that keep you from experiencing whatever you desire. The physical is the physical. Just allowing the possibility that the physical can launch you into the Divine is more than probable.

Yes, there is a reason that the top religions of the world seek to control love, sex and relationship. What I didn’t tell you in the beginning is the third largest group, which I didn’t include statistically, is secular. In plain terms, people here don’t know what to believe, don’t believe or are uncertain. This group might have the easiest time of understanding Divine love because they don’t have any expectations.

I’m not suggesting anything concerning your belief systems. What I am sharing is that being open to love, Divine love is the key. Physically, emotionally, spiritually and yes, even sexually you can find your way to Divine love. I find it also interesting that there are a great many who tout the absence of sexual love as a means to accessing an even higher plan of Divine love.

Perhaps the idea that physical love can hinder or offer one a plateau to higher spiritual love is the thought. Or maybe, it’s the intent of the rule makers to create this separation so that the rules and thus the organizations can flourish. Regardless, of the intent, in Divine love there are no boundaries.

Well, there is this one. And that one is free-will-choice. This is why it is so encouraged for you to find yourself, your balance in coming forth in your spiritual journey. In free-will choice you can create a boundary to the Divine and Source -should you want.

You may think that is ridiculous, why would I want to ever do that? I share with you that love, in all its form is what we all seek most. Having said that, it is also the very thing that we deny or resist most. This is like having a brand new Ferrari and being afraid to get in the car and drive it.

I grant you driving a high-end sports car is totally unlike driving an every day vehicle. A Ferrari is race car short and simple. Divine love is so much more. The analogy at this juncture breaks apart.

Kundalini energy is something that everyone has within. Yogis have known this perhaps more than 10,000 years. It’s hardly a new concept. Kundalini energy can be also described as “life force” energy.

It should make sense that life force energy creates life, because it does. Kundalini energy is also often associated with the explosive sexual energy of orgasm because at one point it can not be contained. It feels like a lightening bolt shooting through your body. And it is shared on whatever level you choose to express or exhibit it.

Divine energy, which is life force energy, which is also called Chi all has the same basis… love. This kind of love is so powerful it can create anything. It is what makes you a Creator. And you have direct access to this power without any rules.

Even in the New Age community you’ll hear and read things like, “Is Kundalini energy safe?” Well, I will comment on this. First, it is a part of you. So, how unsafe can it be?

Secondly, it is true that Divine love is exceedingly powerful. Consider a lighting bolt. In actuality, the amount of electricity in a lightening bolt is too much to comprehend. 10 million volts actually. Compare that to a 100-watt bulb used in your home. When you go watch a football game each one of the stadium lights is 1,500 watts. And again, for comparison sake, a bolt of lightening is 10 million volts. Yep, it’s pretty powerful stuff.

But this energy is already inside of you. Life force love is what has made you and it’s also what keeps you alive. I don’t think you need to be afraid of it. Tapping into the higher planes of love and handling this energy does require your undivided attention.

What does sex have to do with it? Well, sex as we’ve talked can be a pathway to getting in touch with this most powerful energy. But to be honest, you don’t have to have sexual experiences to access it. However, because we are all created as sexual beings it isn’t too hard finding the right buttons if you wanted.

It should also be stated that trying to access Divine love, energy and the power of all creation is a lot easier if you’re not trying. Some people experience Divine love or bliss the first time they meditate. Most don’t. I guess the same could be true in arousing sexual energy.

It may not happen the first time you try it. And you may never choose to experience bliss down that path. But I’ll remind you that many, if not all the rules on love, sexuality, and relationship do come from a place of having you “be careful” about something that is intrinsically you. I’m not encouraging you to do, or to try, anything that doesn’t feel healthily balanced for you.

In conclusion, let share that there aren’t any rules surrounding Divine love. Divine love is unconditional in nature. It is a perfect love. It’s described this way because of the purity in which it is shared and received.

Divine love doesn’t need any governing bodies to tell you what you should and what you shouldn’t do. This extends into your physical, emotional and sexual life. Your best relationships are, or should I say, are extensions of the real love that you have for yourself. I could tell you that love at this frequency might make you go blind.

But it won’t. Taping into Kundalini energy won’t make you loose your hair either. And you don’t have to worry about developing a mental illness in tapping into Divine love. Love in this true state is perfect. It is filled with perfect balance and purity.

In finality, I wanted to share all the above to just remind you that if you’re harboring any taught; guilt, shame, sadness, or conflict in accessing the love that is you, don’t. A great many people are sharing things they’ve never shared before to clear the decks to participate in a higher love. Not everyone, wills or wants this but those of you who do, continue coming forward. Divine love is all there is.

Top religions of the world
Are there really side effects of self love, masturbation?
Study of masturbation frequency and associations with sexual behaviors
Native Americans didn’t have guilt with sex
Is Kundalini Energy Safe?


Something More

Over 1,000 Simple Pleasures

What Does Old Soul Mean?

Contact Us Here

Telephone: (480) 212-1961