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Enter The Void

Entering The Void

Entering the void is the start. In fact, in my opinion, it’s one of the greatest beginnings you’ll ever have to start something real, something new, something true. The benefit of you Entering the Void is setting the foundation to really opening your self up. Your real self. Your true self.

Often there’s a great deal of confusion in facing silence, as if it’s truly scary. I won’t lie; there are times I sit and meditate and hear things that I’d prefer not to hear, feel or process. But herein lies the opportunity, as I see it, and I’d like to share Entering the Void with you.

What? Why would you EVER want to sit in silence? Even if things don’t come up from the past what’s the point? This is the easiest thing I can share with you. The chance to meet your own powerful self.

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SOMETHING MORE:

Chorus: Lyrics

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Thank you for joining us for this podcast episode 022 of
True Connections with Weston Jolly

Transcription:

Being silent may sound easy but it’s not. In my teens I watched something on television that inspired me to try and not talk for a 24-hour period. I shared my idea at dinner with my family and my father commented, “I bet you can’t.” I wanted to redeem my self-esteem – so, I took the bet.

There’s no need to mention my ego was bruised because what I really felt was hurt.… My thoughts, ideas, and dreams were met with “a you can’t do it attitude.” So much so, that Dad bet against me. I got stubborn and bet dad the equivalent of $100 today that I could go 24-hours in silence.

It was a lot of money. But I was indigent in mad being told, I couldn’t do what I said I could do. I set out to prove to Dad wrong. In the beginning my idea was fun, but then it turned into some kind of war with me trying to win or prove something to my dad. The day was set and I would begin at dinnertime on Friday night and I would not talk for a full day.

It was agreed, I could write notes, but there was to be NO speaking. At 6pm on Friday the clock began. I had not anticipated the true nature of my father’s position until we sat at dinner as he tried to goat me into speaking. He was teasing, or at least that’s how the family labeled it, and I was now engaged with a smiling tormentor. Dad wasn’t outright mean but he was clearly taking an adversarial position.

Quickly, I realized that this self-imposed challenge was going to be a lot harder than I initially thought. Having barely escaped talking on several occasions within the first hour of my quest, I determined to make personal notes to remind myself that I couldn’t talk. I believed this was a brilliant idea and I quickly grabbed some post-it-notes and wrote little affirmations to myself that I could go the distance.

Before going to sleep I placed little sticky notes all around my bed, radio and desk. Several more were placed on the bathroom mirror in case I got up in the middle of the night. My biggest fear was that I would bump into Dad in the hall, in route to the bathroom, and say “sorry” or something like that. I really worried about remaining silent.

I was very nervous about slipping up because of a conditioned response. This could easily take place by someone passing me a cereal box at breakfast –normally, as I was trained, I’d say “thank you.” I hadn’t taken into consideration any challenges of this kind when I jumped into my goal of not talking for 24-hours. It didn’t matter I was all in, and all ahead full.

On Saturday, there were lots of times I was challenged by Dad, and other members of the family. They thought it would be fun to try and tempt me to speak as I did my chores. My best friend came over and he didn’t know what was going on until I handed him a hand-written card that said, “I’m not talking for today.” He looked at me, while my whole family watched and said, “Why?”

I couldn’t talk, so I shrugged my shoulders as if to say I don’t know why I’m doing it —but I’m doing it anyway. My best friend could see that I was facing some obstacles with Dad, as every other minute he wanted me to engage with him with any kind of discussion. My brother too, now took his place to follow Dad’s lead, although his attempts were a less mature and clumsy.

It was noon on Saturday and I was feeling rather excited that I only had six hours to reach my goal. The barrage of mocking lightened up a little into the afternoon. It was about 3pm when I was tuning-up the family car when I turned to dad and said, “Can you hand me that wrench?” Dad looked at me in surprise, and said, “You talked!” I looked at him astonished, as I didn’t even hear myself say the words.

I was severely disappointed in myself. I had worked so hard to be quiet. I couldn’t blame Dad, because his taunting was noticeably less. I only had three hours to go…

I had a small tear in my eye and I asked Dad if I really had to pay him to settle the bet. He said, somewhat regretfully, “A bet’s a bet.” I went into my bedroom and got the money and handed to my Father. I was mad and upset.

This experience was a long time ago and I’ve shared it all only to illustrate that sometimes it’s hard to get certain voices out of your head. It doesn’t matter if words are used or not. I feel it’s a great deal harder to let go of the emotions, created with such an event. I think a lot of people fear silence because of such noises, energies or words.

Often there’s a great deal of confusion in facing silence, as if it’s truly scary. I won’t lie; there are times I sit and meditate and hear things that I’d prefer not to hear, feel or process. But herein lies the opportunity, as I see it, and I’d like to share Entering the Void with you.

What? Why would you EVER want to sit in silence? Even if things don’t come up from the past what’s the point? This is the easiest thing I can share with you. The chance to meet your own powerful self.

Entering the void is the start. In fact, in my opinion, it’s one of the greatest beginnings you’ll ever have to start something real, something new, something true. The benefit of you Entering the Void is setting the foundation to really opening your self up. Your real self. Your true self.

If you’re plugged into the noise of everything thing else then you’re going to be clouded. Maybe this sounds confusing since the name of this podcast is True Connections, but there’s a difference. True connections come from the silence, or the void of your mind, and this remarkably different than the other push and pulls

Entering the Void is done in many different ways. Sometimes you enter the void whether you like it or not. There may be patterns in your life that are so repetitive that you may feel doomed unless you face the challenge or the issue. It can feel like a weight that keeps growing in mass to the point that you wonder if you can go forward at all.

Consider this invitation to Enter the Void. You may be wondering, what do I mean by Entering the Void? Is it just being silent? For my purpose today, it is. I want to be very specific about this because it’s a tremendous tool to be silent and listen.

I actually feel quite emotional about this. When you are asked to take a moment of silence many people associate that space with prayer. That is, putting forth a request or a thought. And there’s real beauty in using silent space in that way. However, what I’m sharing is divergent.

Different in that in creating space to be silent you might hear things you’ve never heard before. Even if you have, or do meditate, or create time for silence stay with me as I hope to add to your spiritual connection in this way. Have you ever really considered the power of being silent?

I’m certainly not interested in you approaching silence like I did as a teen, to win a bet, or to prove something. That wasn’t at all my initial desire, but I did get sidetracked into being silent like it was some kind of contest. If we took this example, it would be an excellent one to dissect. The purpose is to illustrate the value of Entering the Void.

Way back when I made my declaration to be silent for the day, there was some part of me that was intrigued in being quiet. I wondered what might occur in that space. It was less about the time frame and more about what was in the stillness. As you now already now, I got lost in a competitive energy.

Today, I see Entering the Void as a place of rest. To rest your mind and let it slow down until it’s no longer processing. Much of my life I’ve done things fast, simply because I like going fast. It makes me think quicker. So, I love thinking fast. Perhaps this is why sometime I talk so fast! <Laughter>

When I Enter the Void, or I enter into an intended state of silence, I want to think slowly –if at all. I want to park my mind in the same way I’d park my car until at one point it is covered in dust. Don’t confuse this with my being lazy or not doing anything as much as my purposely putting my mind in storage. I don’t want to use it.

My mind is available but I don’t want to engage it. Have you ever considered how much thinking you do in your need to talk? Not talking makes you more conscious of how much thinking you do. My message therapist often reflects to me as she touches my head, “there’s a lot of thinking going on in there.”

I was bothered by the number of times my masseuse has said this to me, so I finally asked, “Is this what you tell everybody?” She smiled softly and said, “nope.” And here I was thinking that I wasn’t thinking during the silence in getting a message. This is to illustrate that even if you think you’re not thinking –you may still be.

If you’re going to be silent you’re going to have to face the twirling propellers in your mind and bring them to a standstill. Putting your thoughts in neutral is the key. Stop the thinking, the talking and consider meditation or just walking in nature quietly. This is the void.

Like I said of my little experiment in my being silent in the beginning, it sounds easy. Maybe it’s been difficult for me because I’ve developed a habit of thinking and maybe even over thinking. Depending upon your habits and personality type it might be a lot easier for you – and boy do I hope so. Because there’s real treasure in entering into a state of silence.

If you’re wondering if you can go a whole day without talking —try it. <Laughing> Naturally, I won’t be betting against you as much as encouraging you. You don’t have to sit in a meditative state to be silent. I know hunters who walk in the woods very quietly and deliberately. It works, as you begin hear how loud you walk.

You don’t have to go a whole day without talking. But why not try some variation of it? Get up on Saturday morning and enter into a state of silence for an hour. You may think you have to go shopping or run errands but you still go an hour… If you need too you can carry 3 x 5 cards to communicate. It’s really not any different than you having laryngitis, is it?

I’m sure that you’ve caught on by now that not speaking and being silent can be one and the same but there’s a potential for more. Not speaking isn’t just not talking. If you want to take it to whole another level. Start listening.

Listening to the silence and see what comes to your awareness. I’m reengaging with this process within my own self. Entering the Void for me also starts in not predetermining what is being said outside of me. For example, in listening to a family member, I’m extremely interested in turning off my thinking, or thinking what I should say or contribute and just listen.

In some ways, I do a lot of listening and in others I know I can benefit a whole lot more by being silent. This brings up Entering the Void without bringing my story with it. If I am going to properly listen, I need to remove the old content. This means listening without predetermining that something, like it has happened in the past, is going to repeat itself.

This overlaps with feeling safe. As we know from the previous True Connections with Weston Jolly podcast, Seeing Differently Ep.17, feeling safe has a lot to do with your perception. If you don’t feel safe you can’t see very well because all your thinking about is how you don’t feel safe.

This is also true in listening. When you listen, do you listen to the energy of the person speaking? Sometimes we don’t listen fully because we’re so preoccupied in trying to guess what’s coming next in the dialog. Then, there’s the constant scanning of the radar to determine if it’s safe.

If I’m listening to someone and I’m consumed with the five to eight counter points of why I think that their idea isn’t viable…I’m not really listening. Being silent is not necessarily great listening. I love to hear good ideas, but to be drawn into any competitive or unhealthy dynamic isn’t desired. To change this I must Enter the Void to truly listen.

I must listen in complete openness that whatever is being shared is important. Because it is. I must be open to hear not only the words, but also the true intent of the speaker. My silence and stillness enable me to hear. And this hearing goes outside of the physical realm.

In this moment, I’m thinking of my habit of not listening in a personal relationship. To be really at one, in listening, is being present. Many times in my family, when we get together, we talk hurriedly and aggressively. Perhaps it is because we’re not always together, and we get a little too excited. It’s like we are all trying to grab the microphone at the same time – a competition to communicate all at once.

Our family knows this issue, because we’ve all discussed it so many times. But I’m facing a personal mirror within myself and I’m asking why I can’t Enter the Void to listen better? It’s not the same as being quiet for the sake of winning a bet, or accomplishing the goal, it’s about truly connecting. It’s worthy of me being silent to really listen and make the changes within me so I can be fully present.

There are a lot of times I’m offered the space to Enter the Void but I often fill it with a blur of thoughts, or even worse, too many words. Today on Facebook I participated in adding my thoughts to a discussion but then after doing so I wondered if I was really contributing or if I was just writing things to be acknowledged.

There’s a time to say something silly, funny, wise, or even something profound but then there’s also a time for silence. I will not be paid to be quiet, as someone recently said, as much as I want to Enter the Void first. This enables me to correctly hear.

I am moved by silence. I can’t share that it scares me. Not any more. And I hope not for you either.

I wonder if you too feel compelled to follow the wisdom within the silence. I’m actually grateful for it. I’m also thankful for all it brings forth, even if there are old voices and stories to hear, I also know that will drop my intention to stop replaying them. I think there’s real and substantive value in your Entering the Void.

While I can’t play the entirety of the song for copyright infringement reasons, I’d like to end with an older Alanis Morisette song called Thank U. If after listening to this snippet, you can listen to the whole song on my podcast page. I think it’s a very applicable conclusion to Entering the Void.

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