Hi, I’m Weston
Overweight, fat, obese or heavy? How to loose the extra weight FOREVER…
If you’re struggling with your body, exercise, diets and counting calories that don’t work then discover this SPIRITUAL secret to weight loss.
Welcome guest speaker Lily Gallo as she shares her experiences and guidance in loosing over a 100lbs.
And here’s just a partial list of things she did :
- Didn’t count calories
- Didn’t have a strict meal plan (i.e. Weight watchers)
- Exercised, but without a coach or trainer
- Has fun
- Stopped hiding
There’s much more…
(HIT PLAY and LISTEN to True Connections with Weston Jolly podcast)
Thank you for joining us for this podcast
Episode 069 of True Connections with Weston JollyTranscription: Discover the Secret to Removing Weight
[00:00:11.450] – Weston JollyTrue connections is a journey within to discover that you are part of everything. Life can often feel disjointed. But you and I are actually connected to one another, to nature, to animals, and many other ways, like your thoughts, intentions, dreams, even your imagination. It’s my desire to bring spiritual insight to these true connections so that you can get into the flow of life, receive the things that you want without struggle, and enjoy a more constant level of happiness. I am Weston Jolly, your host. [00:00:50.890] – Weston Jolly Thank you, everybody, for being here. I just want to introduce a very close friend and someone I’ve known for a very long time. Her name is Lily Gallo. So, Lily joins me today with True Connections with Weston Jolly. And I think that what she has to share in terms of her story in terms of her experiences will be of real interest. Lily, thank you for being here.
[00:01:11.530] – Lily GalloOh, thank you. It’s a pleasure.
[00:01:13.630] – Weston JollyLily, can you give us just a little bit of a background in terms of I know you quite well, but why don’t you share a little bit about where you come from, how we got connected and where we are today?
[00:01:27.250] – Lily GalloYeah. I’ve known you for almost two decades now. We met in Chicago, and it’s funny, because I was a teacher working in Chicago, and on my way to work, I had passed this building and there was a mural painted on the side of the building, and I thought, I wonder what that building is. That’s a cool mural. Maybe one day when I’m not working, I’m going to stop in and see what that building is. So, months and months went by, and I passed this building, and I never had the chance to go in.
[00:01:58.690] – Lily GalloAnd one day, I, for whatever reason, didn’t have to work. And I was passing that building. And I thought, ‘Well, this is the perfect day to go in’. So I went in and it turned out it was a spiritual bookstore. And I thought, ‘Oh, okay.’ I wasn’t really into that kind of thing. I was like, ‘Whatever. Cool.’ I looked around and I bought a little trinket and in the bag where as you’re walking out, they give you the bag for your purchase. And there was a little flyer in there that had workshop announcements.
[00:02:26.120] – Lily GalloAnd I thought, okay, well, cool. If there’s something for less than $50, I’ll go into that workshop and see what this is about. And an announcement that you would be speaking was there. So, I said, ‘Cool- fits my requirements.’ And I went to that event, and I was captured by you and what you were sharing and really, just the energy that you were sharing. I don’t really know what words were said, but as people who know you, Weston, will know, it was the feeling of Weston.
[00:02:58.600] – Lily GalloSo, at that point, I signed up for a private session, and I was hooked. And so that was, as I said, almost 20 years ago when that happened.
[00:03:08.060] – Weston JollyThat’s amazing. I’ve known you for all this time and I knew of our personal session, but I don’t recall or didn’t recall the connection in the bookstore. I remember exactly where it was and, of course, that bookstore is no longer there. We’ve evolved a lot. Yeah, there’s been a lot of change there and a lot of change in the world, of course. But, Lily, thank you for that. And certainly, I’m very grateful to have you here. And thank you for the energy that you spoke about because, of course, that’s why I wanted to have you here and share some of your story with everybody else, because I know that there’s been in some ways a physical challenge with just dealing with -sometimes- when we’re dealing with our own selves, our own bodies, there’s a challenge that we carry on weight of other people’s energy, other people’s stuff.
[00:04:05.140] – Weston JollyA lot of people don’t know that. I mean, they don’t know that. They know that to one degree, but they don’t necessarily know it from an energetic perspective. And certainly I’ve noticed, of course. And this is why I wanted to share with you as well, where everyone can become aware that you’ve made a very strong physical transformation. Can you talk about that a little bit?
[00:04:26.890] – Lily GalloYes. Ever since I was very young, I have been overweight and sometimes more significantly overweight than other times, but quite overweight. I mean, obese- in the obese category- for a lot of my life, and I no longer am. And so I lost a significant amount of weight. And in doing so, realized that this kind of gives me an excuse to talk about what I’ve learned with people and to share the growth that I’ve had.
[00:04:55.690] – Weston JollyThat’s tremendous. So, when you say tremendous loss, can you give us kind of a hint without being too personal, but kind of give us an idea of what are we talking? A couple of pounds- 5 pounds, 10 pounds? What are we talking about?
[00:05:05.720] – Lily GalloYeah. So here’s the deal. I don’t know the exact number. And that is with intention, because I feel like when people hear a number, there is a lot that they associate with that number. If I said 5 pounds, people would say, oh, that’s nothing and dismiss it.
[00:05:22.540] – Weston JollyOkay.
[00:05:22.840] – Lily GalloIf I said 500 pounds, people would say, ‘Oh, I can’t even relate to that.’ So, what I will say is it is approximately 100 pounds or so, which is obviously very significant, but intentionally I’m not attached to the number.
[00:05:42.550] – Weston JollyOkay. 100 pounds. That’s a tremendous amount. So I’m going to ask this first question right out of the bag. What’s the secret?
[00:05:55.010] – Lily GalloI think as I just alluded to, the secret is not numbers. It isn’t calories, it isn’t minutes working out. It isn’t how many inches. All of those beliefs that people have been taught are just not accurate. The secret is much more a spiritual or feeling space thing. And I would say if there is a secret, which I don’t even believe in the concept of having secrets, but I’ll humor that wording. The secret really is realizing that when you gain weight, you have separated from yourself, when you gain weight in the unhealthy way.
[00:06:36.050] – Weston JollySure.
[00:06:36.790] – Lily GalloAnd the desire that we have is to use it as a protection. Or sometimes, in my case, as kindness. Or what I thought was a kindness. I would be taking someone else’s pain on for them and saying, I’m strong enough to deal with this. You are, in my perception, unfortunately, I had the misconception that someone else was weaker than I was. And so I would take that pain on for them, and I would hide their secrets for them.
[00:07:06.200] – Weston JollyOh, wow!
[00:07:09.010] – Lily GalloIt literally almost looks like, ‘Oh, you have this burden or this secret that you can’t carry.’ And it looks like a little package that I would put onto myself and then cover up and hide for them as a favor to them. And I realize that is exactly the opposite of what needs to happen and what really would benefit everybody would be to say, ‘Why are you holding that secret? There’s nothing to be ashamed of. There’s no reason to keep that secret. Shout it from the rooftop because there’s nothing to hide.’ There literally is no reason to hide anything. And if we all were able to say to ourselves, there’s no reason for hiding things- there’s no reason for shame. There’s no reason for secrecy. Then things would be much easier in a lot of ways. And in my opinion, a lot of people would lose a lot of weight.
[00:07:58.810] – Lily GalloThat’s your goal. I think that a secret is: don’t hide things. Don’t feel the need to be secretive. Don’t feel that there’s something to be ashamed of, but just be honest and truthful and look and see that in doing that, you are really experiencing- it’s impossible not to experience- a love of yourself.
[00:08:19.640] – Lily GalloAnd so, I guess the secret is to love yourself and to reconnect with your own self.
[00:08:24.440] – Weston JollyLily, this is extremely interesting for a couple of reasons. One, of course, I’ve helped and actually facilitated others in this category where they were wanting to make a change. I’ll use the words transformation. And a lot of times they’re not aware of something that is embedded- hidden- until I would reflect that on their behalf. And then that secret becomes exposed. And then ultimately, it’s not what they thought it to be. It enables them to become aware of what, the big monster in the room is so that they can stop this protection.
[00:09:00.110] – Weston JollyAnd I say protection on a physical level, of course, and that’s the lowest level. But then it goes up to the emotional level. And then sometimes we can even protect on a spiritual level, as if we need to do that. And yet I can think of another instance where I was working with this individual and she lost 75 pounds and she didn’t do anything in terms of making changes in her eating habits, number one. Two, which is remarkable, because a lot of people really get caught in that. And I know that you want to expand upon that which I want to talk about. But then two, she changed a little bit in terms of her exercise regime, if I can, call it that. But dropping 75 pounds without, shall we say, counting calories or having to do 5 hours in the gym every day was not something that she did. There was a change of energy, a change of mind. And then suddenly this weight started falling off. And I know a lot of people are challenged with that concept, and perhaps you can address the idea, maybe even talk about, Lily, if you have had experience with trying other things, other diets, other things that may or may not have worked. And most of all, what brought you to this state of transformation?
[00:10:07.030] – Lily GalloYeah. Congratulations to that other woman. Good for her. I was never really into dieting, to be honest and just straightforward. I always knew that the answer was not about food or calories or any of that. I had a really strong sense that this whole diet industry was just a big lie, and I did not want to participate in that. So, I did do various- like here and there I’d be like, oh, I’ll count calories or I’m going to restrict carbs, but I was never someone who was very into that.
[00:10:42.480] – Weston JollyOkay.
[00:10:45.470] – Lily GalloAnd I know that that’s somewhat unusual, but that’s just my reality. I have always enjoyed movement, but I have not- had not- let myself enjoy it. I think that is somewhat common for people who are overweight. I think there’s a lot of fear that they will be judged if they try to move or enjoy their body or play around with their body. And I had some fear of that in myself. So now, although I do go to the gym regularly, it’s not because I feel this need to be regimented and to almost self-punish through movement. It’s because I really enjoy moving. And I go to classes that I consider actually fun. And so that’s important to me is that I do what feels fun to me. So if I feel like I want to go to the gym at whatever weight I will go. And now I’m taking classes that I find enjoyable or I go out and walk because the key to self-love is- one of the keys- is to find what you love and to do that. And it’s just as simple as that.
[00:11:59.250] – Weston JollyI want to kind of highlight that for everyone listening, because whether it’s weight transformation or any other thing that you want to change, we don’t often make these changes- there’s an idea that especially at the first of the year, which we’re now participating in to make these proclamations, these goals of what we’re going to do for the New Year. And yet there’s no follow up. And the reason why is because there’s a disconnection from what it is that we say that we want to do, we want to do this. But then two days later, five days later, maybe three weeks later, we’re not doing it. So, what is it that has enabled you to be consistent in this way, Lily?
[00:12:41.350] – Lily GalloI just like what I’m doing. We can’t be consistent- I mean- it’s possible to be somewhat consistent when you dislike what you’re doing, but that becomes a form of self-punishment, and therefore the opposite of what we’re trying to achieve. The idea of being restrictive or of being regulatory will not work. If what you’re trying to do is have a long-term success, and by that, I don’t just mean weight loss, but I mean enjoying your life.
[00:13:11.960] – Weston JollySure.
[00:13:13.210] – Lily GalloHow can you consider yourself successful if you lose 100 pounds but you are constantly miserable, right?
[00:13:19.140] – Weston JollyThat doesn’t make sense. Yeah.
[00:13:21.790] – Lily GalloSo, in order to be consistent, you need to do what you enjoy. And so for me, just being who I am, I change things often, so I consistently do what I enjoy. But I used to walk 5 miles a day, which I enjoy. And now I’m taking Zumba classes, which I enjoy. And sometimes still I’ll walk 5 miles a day. So the idea of being non restrictive but consistent is something that some people need to wrap their minds around. It doesn’t have to be: I eat exactly 1800 calories a day or even 1200 calories a day or whatever it is that the supposed ideal number is, according to math.
[00:14:03.670] – Weston JollyAre you coaching people now? I mean, how is it that you can help others who may be trying to get to this attribute of fun through consistency? Meaning, are there programs that you offer? Tell us a little bit about that.
[00:14:18.550] – Lily GalloYeah. I am happy to continue to talk to people. I feel like everyone is an individual, and so contacting me and saying, ‘What can we figure out together to work?’ I would love to do that. So, if that’s a daily phone call, if that’s being accessible via text messages on the regular… People need a consistent person to go to sometimes. And I would love to be that person. So if you want to text me ten times in row saying, I’m just in a panic, no need to respond here’s what’s going on: blah, blah, blah, blah. I want to be a person to be there for that. Or if you want a structured phone call every Friday at this time, I want to be there for that.
[00:15:00.750] – Weston JollySo, basically a partner, you’re kind of describing a partnership.
[00:15:07.470] – Lily GalloYeah. I’m a person who believes in flexibility. And so flexibility within consistency is hard to achieve. And I acknowledge that it will be achieved in various ways. But yeah, a partner, a friend to walk through this with.
[00:15:19.580] – Weston JollyLily, I think it’s important to add to this discussion that you have some enormous spiritual skills that, in my opinion, have had everything to do with this transformation. And we talked about this as well. And if it’s something you’re comfortable talking about, perhaps this transformation from going from where you were to where you are, is something bigger than just weight loss? Can you talk about that? I’m going to kind of throw you a lob over home plate with that question. But do you want to elaborate with what I would call your spiritual growth as a result of this as well?
[00:15:57.070] – Lily GalloI don’t know how much of a lob that is.
[00:16:08.750] – Weston JollyThat’s fair.
[00:16:08.905] – Lily GalloYou’re setting this up like it’s an easy one. No, this is not an easy one.
[00:16:08.750] – Weston JollyYou can handle it.
[00:16:12.630] – Lily GalloOh, no. My perfectionism is sneaking in. This is absolutely a spiritual thing. I am happy to talk about and to admit that this is something that is not a physical thing. If I did this by the world’s rules or by the physical plane’s rules, I would be unsuccessful.
[00:16:36.590] – Weston JollyIs that cheating?
[00:16:37.730] – Lily GalloNo. Absolutely not. No. And whatever you have in your bag, use it. Cheating doesn’t even make sense.
[00:16:50.530] – Weston JollyRight. Because I asked that question on purpose, because I know a lot of people sometimes get confused with that, as if we can’t use our “spiritual gifts” -if I can use that term- or “inclinations” or basically who we are- to create something that we really want. We don’t have to quote, struggle, please. I didn’t mean to interrupt.
[00:17:07.520] – Lily GalloYeah. No, I see what you’re saying. Well, for me, that reminded me of the idea that I have been often told that things come way too easy for me. And people are angry at me because I’m not struggling. And so that for a while held me back. And I thought, oh, I better pretend that I am like other people in this way so that I don’t offend them. And it just doesn’t work. If something is easy for you, if you can take a jump of 1000 feet, when everyone else is tiptoeing, jump the thousand feet. Let them tiptoe if that’s what they’re going to do now. Eventually they might jump 1000 feet, and eventually they might not. But it doesn’t have anything to do with holding you back from what you can do.
[00:17:55.190] – Weston JollyThat’s an incredible thought. So, I kind of want to spin back just a little bit to some pragmatic things and spiritual things in-between. When going to the gym, I know in having talked to a lot of people in this category that sometimes there’s a great deal of judgment. I’m going to use the words addiction. Food isn’t necessarily always an addiction. But to me, in my observation, helping a lot of people in various categories of addiction, food can be one of the most challenging ones because we have to have it.
[00:18:27.530] – Lily GalloRight.
[00:18:27.530] – Weston JollyMeaning, alcohol, ultimately, the mind says, I have to have it or even “Drug A.”. Or even sex. It’s something that we have to have. Or excessive sleep. And these are all attributes of addiction. But food is something we have to literally have. So, if you’re not drinking, we can perhaps escape by not going to the local bar, those places that we used to hang out and drink. But with this, we’re forced in the sense that we have to biologically eat at least several times a day. And I know people really in this category have really been challenged with the idea that in one sense, this is something that everybody can see. So, I may have an addiction that’s not seen- meaning not seen in terms of the whole world seeing it. James Franco, for example, just admitted to having a sex addiction. I don’t think everybody knew that. And yet at the same time, it wasn’t necessarily carried on his body. This is something that is. And sometimes it can create a great deal of embarrassment. And even dare I use the word “judgment” whether people are conscious of that or not. Can you address a little bit about the judgment of any of it? Because I think it would be very helpful just from a “having been there” perspective.
[00:19:39.890] – Lily GalloYeah. I’m aware that there’s a lot of judgment, and I have a different perspective on it. To me, when I carried a whole lot of extra weight, from my perspective, I was being honest. I was saying, ‘Hey, I’m not hiding anything.’
[00:19:59.790] – Weston JollyRight. Right. Yeah, yeah.
[00:20:02.690] – Lily GalloThis is a personification of who, where and what I am being right now. And so other people can try- it’s just like- I understand that other people can hide whatever it is that their addiction or their issues are. But my intention is to say, ‘I’m working through something right now. Here it is on my body. It’s yelling out. If you want to judge it, you can judge it. And to be honest, there is self-judgment at one point as well.
[00:20:34.290] – Weston JollySure.
[00:20:35.870] – Lily GalloAnd I think that’s really, really common. People hear the judgment of others and they take it on themselves. Or the weight was caused initially by something that caused you to feel guilt or self judgment. But it just doesn’t make any sense. Whether there’s judgment or not, we can’t let ourselves hide away. We can’t let ourselves be so strongly affected by the judgment that is there. We have to be ourselves.
[00:21:02.170] – Weston JollyWell, doesn’t it take a certain amount of courage, though, to face that or address that. And then at one point, step aside from that, especially if this is something that might have been passed down, like a gene in the family tree? I know a lot of people think that sometimes weight runs in the family, and of course, it can to some degree. But I think there’s a lot of confusion with that. That a lot of times mom and dad perhaps were heavy and the children are heavy. Then there’s the idea that it’s a DNA thing. And again, in some cases, that could be accurate. But a lot of times, it’s not. Meaning, it can be described as something else. Maybe you want to address that?
[00:21:43.010] – Lily GalloYeah. I think that there might be some credence to the idea that there is a genetic component.
[00:21:48.290] – Weston JollySure.
[00:21:48.520] – Lily GalloBut what really is the deal is that it’s behaviors and thought patterns that are transferred from person to person. So while there may be a genetic predisposition, what matters is that the thoughts and behaviors of a family system are what really is transferred from person to person and the expectation that if you’re to be one of the clan, then you’re going to look, act, feel, think like one of the clan.
[00:22:19.370] – Weston JollySure.
[00:22:19.760] – Lily GalloAnd it’s almost to me like a building of a cult.
[00:22:23.670] – Weston JollyOh, interesting.
[00:22:25.430] – Lily GalloThese are our belief systems. You will follow them without question. If you have something that is without or beyond or other than what we think and feel, you will stick out. You will be rejected in some way. And there’s a lot of times in a family an expectation of you will follow along with what it is that we think and prescribe to you. You will live it out and it will be seen as: you are one of us.
[00:22:53.810] – Weston JollyI’m sorry for interrupting. This is a rather big deal because I’m thinking of a scenario where I knew a mom and a dad, as friends as well as some people I facilitated. They had a normal baby boy. And yet the baby boy was normal in terms of his weight. But, immediately, I watched this family continue to put on more and more weight. And then I also watched this boy in his childhood. That would be to say, in his teenage years, he became quite literally the heaviest guy in class. I think close to 280lbs as a teenager. And I was aware of what the family was eating. But more importantly, back to what you’re saying here, is this thing that some kind is almost- I’m going to call it a poison- but I don’t mean to say that it’s killing somebody, but it could. But it’s a mindset that gets ingrained to the point that the person may or may not know that there’s another option. This is how it is. And like you said, we adhere to the brand, which is the family brand in terms of our surname. This is what we do and to be, quote, a Jolly or a Jones, we have to follow these unwritten rules to participate in this family tree. And of course, to break out of that can seem to be to some degree psychologically dangerous. How are we going to do that? How am I going to change my body and still be -dare I say- loved or even honored or liked by the family tree?
[00:24:33.590] – Lily GalloRight. Because it’s not just a change of body. That’s really the end result. What it is a change of thought, a change of belief system. And it is frightening to say I am different from the way I was raised so much so that those things that I never question, I’m now questioning. And I don’t mean to offend anybody. I don’t mean to change in a way that makes others feel bad about themselves. All these things become part of that full system. And what happens is that people say, no, I’m comfortable enough feeling as though I am loved by the people who I think are important. I will remain the same. So they have these two very different desires. One is to lose weight and the other is to be loved by their family. Which is going to win?
[00:25:21.020] – Weston JollyRight, right.
[00:25:21.440] – Lily GalloYou’re going to choose to be loved by your family every time- until you realize that this is a false dichotomy. There are not really just two ways of looking at things. You will be loved no matter what. And if you do actually lose the love of some person because you have decided to do what feels right to you, then it comes down to- then they didn’t love you in the first place.
[00:25:49.642] – Weston JollyRight.
[00:25:49.750] – Lily GalloThat sounds kind of like trite and unhappy, but there’s some truth to that. If you cannot be who you are and have the love of that person, you need to make a choice. Are you going to pretend and then fall into this almost a trance of behavior and thought, or are you going to break free and decide- no- I’m done playing those games. I’m going to be who I am and that’s something that will make me feel great. And then other people have the choice to do that or not do it. But I’m not going to let that manipulation, which is what it really is, lead me into a place where I don’t want to be. There will be better things where I end up than this game that I’m stuck in- this cycle that keeps repeating because I keep believing things that are not true.
[00:26:43.190] – Weston JollyThat’s the key. We talked about the secret in the beginning, in my opinion. And this is why I was sharing with you that softball pitch over home plate that wasn’t so soft. We’re taking this opportunity to become aware of those things that we’re being conditioned to believe, perhaps that we never even have challenged or even kind of given conscious thought to and to reevaluate. And when we do this from a spiritual perspective, I can’t think of a belief- not one- that I’ve kept that I thought was the The Belief. Meaning in terms of that being a family belief or even an external belief. And the reason why I say that is because every time that I was like ‘this is the way’ based upon this belief that I was holding onto, I became aware of something I’ll call -use the term- expansive. Something that was way beyond this singular thought, which was uncomfortable because I was familiar with it and then comfortable in the sense that I, of course, been around town protecting that as if I had to. And this is very common. And I use the word “protection” because of course, this is what we’re doing when we create excess in anything. In terms of bodily protection, et cetera. And yet there’s something to be said really about how you’re going from what was in terms of this mind/ thought /body connection piece to something that is empowering-enabling. And you said it rather casually. But I just kind of want to really emphasize this: when we love ourselves, as if that could be a problem, meaning a problem for anyone that would include a family tree and really honor ourselves. That’s a whole other word- in being who we are, then if someone likes us, loves us or appreciates us or can continue to let us be in the fold of the family based upon that, shall we say, transformation or that change-wonderful! And yet if for some, quote, strange reason that we are shunned or we’re pushed away or we are spat upon and sometimes quite literally, then we have to honor that. You know what? That may or may not have anything to do with you. Period. Meaning, sometimes we get confused with that and take on the idea. And I’m speaking energetically. This is what you were talking about earlier. In terms of hiding, we take on those energies, we hide them as if this is something we’re supposed to do to be a member of the family.
[00:29:11.180] – Weston JollyThis is really, really cool. So, Lily, tell me more or tell us more about what it is. Can we still eat pizza? Do we never have to eat ice cream again? I like the fun part, but from a pragmatic perspective, are there rules? Is this something I can do? Does this apply to anyone who’s trying to lose 5 pounds versus 100? Help me out here.
[00:29:39.110] – Lily GalloYeah, there aren’t any strict rules. Eat what you want. And it really is not- what you eat needs to reflect your belief system.
[00:29:51.850] – Weston JollyHold on, hold on. Are you honestly saying that in this change that you can continue to eat what you want and still get, quote the results that you’ve created?
[00:30:05.570] – Lily GalloYeah, absolutely. For me, the only change that I made in my eating was that I made sure that what I was eating actually reflected my belief system. And I won’t share what specifically I eat because I don’t want to make other people adjust and take on my belief system. That would never be right. I don’t want to do that.
[00:30:27.260] – Weston JollySure.
[00:30:29.450] – Lily GalloSo, eat what you want. Eat what reflects you. I mean, I tend to be a very playful person, so there’ll be times when I eat very playfully and I might do something like, ‘Today, I’m going to eat anything that’s blue.’
[00:30:43.730] – Weston JollyI was thinking food fight, so…
[00:30:58.470] – Lily GalloIf anyone wants to have a food fight with me, I’m down for it. I haven’t found that person yet.
[00:30:58.724] – Weston JollyI don’t know. You may be able to find somebody.
[00:30:58.470] – Lily GalloYeah, true. It’s just for my personal belief system, I have some more serious beliefs, but I also believe most wholeheartedly that fun is essential. And so I have fun with what I eat. And the opposite for me is to be regimented and to be just making things hard for myself. I have fun with my food as well.
[00:31:25.050] – Weston JollySo, is this consistency like a discipline or…? I mean, I’m trying to get a grasp on this in terms of the consistency. For most people, most people have gone into this with extreme discipline. We’re going to go to the gym eight times a day and we’re going to have no potato chips, no pizzas, and we can eat only sanctioned meals that come out of Weight Watchers or some organization which may or may not work for all people. And yet it seems like it’s hard. If we just looked in the mirror and evaluated, it looks like it’s just we’re climbing Mount Everest in some kind of way, and sometimes it can feel, well, overwhelming.
[00:32:05.990] – Lily GalloYeah. For me that has never worked and never will. For me, and I think for probably most people, I could be wrong. But that type of regimentation is just counterproductive.
[00:32:21.420] – Weston JollyOkay.
[00:32:22.430] – Lily GalloAnytime we’re battling something, we’re going in the wrong direction. We don’t want to battle ourselves. We want to make sure that what we’re doing is honoring ourselves, making life for ourselves better rather than more restrictive. So, I have a general schedule and it’s just as flexible as my personality is. I generally do the same thing every day.
[00:32:47.400] – Weston JollyOkay.
[00:32:47.960] – Lily GalloBut my personality fits that. There might be someone who enjoys more regimentation. Cool. Go for that. Whatever matches you. I mean, your dietary needs are not other than you. They’re a part of you. So if you’re a flexible person, your food is going to be flexible. If you’re a more regimented person, your food will be more regimented.
[00:33:07.520] – Weston JollySure.
[00:33:07.920] – Lily GalloBut it’s not something that someone else can assign to you. It’s something that you’ll need to discover based upon who you are. And for me, my food is very me. And for you, your food will be very you.
[00:33:18.060] – Weston JollySo, Lily, when you go to help somebody, let’s say I wanted to lose 10 pounds or something more. Do you actually take the time to tune into me the person, my body, my belief system? I mean, is this the kind of integration that we’re doing versus some, “general plan” that may or may not work for everybody?
[00:33:37.370] – Lily GalloRight. Absolutely. Any general plan is generic. It’s only going to work to some certain degree, and then it will stop working because it’s made generically as a general guideline. But if you specifically want to have your personal goal achieved, then yeah, we need to look at who you are as a human being and beyond human, who you are as a soul, as a Being and find something that feels great. And when it feels great, it will work.
[00:34:10.490] – Weston JollyI think that’s incredible. I wanted to add, if you don’t mind, this thought that a lot of times I have noticed that people who create on create a layer of protection- and by the way- it doesn’t have to be just weight loss. It could be intellectual protection, which is not necessarily seen as, pounds per se. But I’ve noticed a pattern. I just want to have your thoughts on it. If you don’t mind commenting, Lily. Sometimes there’s an idea that food is love. And what I mean by that is that the tongue gets excited. And of course, behind that, the mind- that I’m eating something- let’s call it Haagen-Dazs, that is, oh, my God, that’s love. And so I’m going to have not a bite- a little bit- and we take that sweetness and we pull it in and we keep playing that record or taking that in excessively- you can use that term- at an expense. The body obviously can’t handle that. And yet, I don’t think most people give consideration to the idea that they’ve turned off- and I want to say that really strongly- other attributes of receiving- as in love. Meaning it’s only coming through that one portal of the mouth. And therefore the idea of going into a dietary space doesn’t work because of their belief system is, oh, my God, you’re really asking me to not receive love, which means this is the only way that I receive love. So, therefore, you’re asking me to basically cut back on that. And everything else is in high order of protection, and therefore I can’t have it. I can’t do that. It means it becomes that internal struggle becomes a civil war. That becomes a raging war that they can’t quote unquote ever do. And this is why I think a lot of the quote programs that are out there may or may not work because they don’t necessarily deal with this real issue. It’s very popular to say we’re going to lose 5 pounds in two days or 10 pounds in a week, and all these programs are sold, with that auspice, but not necessarily successful. Successful being that someone’s life actually changes permanently. So I’m going to ask you this question, too, Lily. How long has it been?
[00:36:15.710] – Lily GalloSince I lost all of the weight?
[00:36:17.970] – Weston JollyWell, no, it doesn’t need to be answered that way. Some people do it for two weeks, and then, of course, they feel like they got thrown to the curb because it didn’t work. And then that’s just another mark on the chalkboard of what didn’t work and they become discouraged. And, of course, a lot of times judgmental and especially if they’re in a relationship, you know, well, you didn’t follow the program. You didn’t follow Weight Watchers. You didn’t do. You didn’t go to the gym. And there’s this energy that they’re never doing it right. They’re never succeeding. The reason I’m talking about the love piece is because it can feel like someone’s literally taking the milk bottle out of your mouth and you’re going to die. And you didn’t talk about, or haven’t yet…There are people that go through even operations, Lily. Of course, you know this. They remove part of the body embodiment so that they can’t take in the excess. And of course, that’s not the issue. We both know people who have done that and maybe not successfully. And I’m not trying to put a judgment on that as much as to say, wow, how can we take out pieces of the body and still maintain this layer of protection? Meaning we’re still having that challenge. And again, I’m putting forth this love concept because the idea of cutting down the love that comes into your body slash your mouth isn’t true. That’s why I want to emphasize that. Because when you open up to the idea that love can be received in all different ways, not necessarily just through the mouth. And it changes the rules. It’s like, oh, my God, I actually can eat- as you were suggesting- things that I would like. But as you’re opening up to love, meaning outside of that one- call it pathway- then you’re able to receive. And then guess what? Your body starts to reduce its need to protect. And we have this result which a lot of people may not understand, maybe not have experienced, and therefore, to some degree may even doubt it. But I see that. Or I feel like I’m witnessing that with you. But this love that you are giving or extending to yourself is no longer, I’ll call it, limited to the mouth.
[00:38:32.270] – Lily GalloYeah, I don’t feel like it ever was limited to the mouth, but I do understand what you’re saying. And I agree with the idea that there are tricks that occur with food where people are taught by, in some cases, food manufacturers and by some cases, family members that this is a way to comfort yourself. And this is a way to feel better. Just eat this and you’ll feel better, and it’s very insidious in families. It is taught like, oh, no, you fell down, you have a scratch, you’re crying. Here, take a piece of candy. Or, here have a- whatever it might be.
[00:39:09.010] – Weston JollyRight, right.
[00:39:09.420] – Lily GalloOr we’ll call some foods comfort food. Like, you’re feeling depressed, oh, just have that mac and cheese or baked potato or whatever it might be that is comfort food in your family. And that is something that is actively taught, and it’s also passively taught. It’s a huge manipulation and sometimes unintentionally, like, the food that’s supposed to be fun is all bright colors and very sugary. So that’s the fun stuff. So, if you want to have fun and you’re not having fun, get something bright -colored and sugary. Or if you’re feeling bad, do the same thing. So that we attach emotions to the food. Sometimes very, very intentionally. And those things just don’t coincide. That’s a big lie and a big manipulation. If you’re feeling sad, food will not solve it.
[00:40:01.910] – Weston JollyRight.
[00:40:03.290] – Lily GalloIf you have overeaten way too much and you’ve gained a whole lot of weight, taking a part of your body out will not solve it. That is finding a solution that doesn’t exist. If you’re feeling sad, address the sadness. If you have overeaten way too much, it’s not your stomach’s fault. Don’t take that out. Look at the truth. What is the actual situation that we are really dealing with? And the actual situation that we’re really dealing with comes down to almost always is: I don’t feel happy. I don’t feel loved. Something is missing. I need to fill that emptiness.
[00:40:47.760] – Weston JollyRight.
[00:40:49.070] – Lily GalloBut it’s hard to look at that. It’s hard to do that for many people because it’s easier to say there’s a simple, quick solution. And then you get stuck in that cycle of: I feel bad. I eat something. It’s sweet and sugary. I feel better. Then I feel bad again. Oh, no. Better eat more of that ice cream. But then we go around in that cycle of: I feel bad. I eat some ice cream. I feel better. I feel bad again. Let’s try cake this time. I feel better. I feel bad. Maybe it’s the pizza. Maybe that’s what I needed. And so we kind of prescribe ourselves all these false ways to feel better. And unfortunately, it seems to work temporarily. And so we’re like, okay, I’ll just keep doing this because at least there’s some relief for my emotions for a moment. Or at least I’ve done what satisfies the public for a time, because there is a strong message as far as surgery goes. Like, if you’re very overweight, you are a problem. And we don’t like looking at you, so go solve that problem. Here’s the surgery. And so you feel as though you’re satisfying the general public and your own problems might actually get solved as well. And it looks like you’ve made an effort. So that’s good. And you’ve spent some money. That must mean something. And then we just have all these false narratives that we choose to believe. We choose to play this game, are lying to ourselves, and following these manipulations because it’s socially accepted because it seems like we can fool ourselves into believing that it might work. But it’s all false. And if we just go to the place where the actual problem is, look at that problem and solve it, then it’s just a forever thing.
[00:42:34.670] – Weston JollyI think that’s incredible. I’m just kind of sitting in awe and I bet a lot of people are as well, Lily, just about your openness. And I just have to ask, do you feel that this ability that you’ve now witnessed for your own self and then you’re sharing and teaching others to do this- do you feel like it can help everybody? Meaning will it help men, women, teenagers? I mean, the point is, is this program that you’re sharing and teaching limited to some part of the demographic? Do we have to be 35 and spiritually aware?
[00:43:04.740] – Lily GalloYeah, these are just truths of humanity. And so it will work for anybody. There’ll be, like I mentioned before, differences based upon who you are. If you are younger or older or you have different goals or whatever, then we’ll do things differently. But that would be the same- we would do things differently no matter who you are, because everyone is an individual.
[00:43:26.920] – Weston JollySure.
[00:43:27.320] – Lily GalloBut yeah, it works for anyone of any gender. It works for anyone of any age. It works for anyone who doesn’t even need to lose weight. This is just kind of an inroad. It’s not really about weight loss. It’s really about self love.
[00:43:43.740] – Weston JollyYes.
[00:43:44.060] – Lily GalloIf you want to lose 5 pounds or 500 pounds or if you just are interested in what I’m saying and want to talk some more and don’t have to lose weight, cool. That’s great. This is not really about weight loss. This is really about getting rid of the lies and loving yourself.
[00:43:59.870] – Weston JollyThat’s incredible, Lily, in terms of so succinct in putting that together. I know that I have shared many times that to help someone to create awareness surrounding the topic of food that I’ve asked them and many people that I’ve facilitated to become conscious of your body, not just your mouth, your body before you go to eat- your whole self while you’re actually eating. And of course, how you’re feeling afterwards. Now, it seems very obvious. Meaning, it seems like that’d be a very simple thing to do. Like, yeah, I know. How do I feel before I’m about to eat? I’m hungry. No, it’s actually bigger than that. And the more that you get into that, you’ll realize maybe I’m hungry because I’ve been starving myself. I’ve been dieting for three days malnourshing, and of course, the body just retains that. It’s like we go into the aisle and there’s chips and there’s Coke and there’s this and it’s like, oh, my God, I’ve got to have all of that! And we go to the counter and we get it all and we come home and we just scarf it down, usually without anyone seeing, meaning, hiding- exactly what you talked about-
[00:45:05.280] – Lily GalloYeah, because we feel shame and there’s no shame involved there. That’s a natural consequence of your behavior. If you starve yourself, you’re going to not be able to do it for a long time. And then people come out like, I can’t tell anyone I ate that chocolate cake. Yeah, you can. That’s what’s going to happen.
[00:45:23.180] – Weston JollySure.
[00:45:23.590] – Lily GalloI ate a chocolate cake. Stand on the roof and yell it. I starved myself. Guess what happened? It didn’t work. That’s why I ate a chocolate cake. There’s no shame in that kind of thing. It’s something that I think I didn’t talk about a whole lot, but there’s a lot of shame in this process, and that got to get kicked out because what we are doing as people who are overweight is- a thin person would do in this situation- because binging is a natural consequence of repression. Things just work that way. An overweight person will do that. An underweight person will do that if they don’t have other situations that they’re battling. It’s just how things work when we restrict, that restriction can only last so long before we have some type of a rebellion against it.
[00:46:10.560] – Weston JollySure.
[00:46:10.880] – Lily GalloAnd there’s no reason we need to feel shame because we have reacted in a predictable way. There’s no shame around food. There’s no shame around eating. There should be no shame around body size or our behavior or really anything. The things that we do we do for reasons that are clear and understandable. There’s no shame in being human and then behaving in that way.
[00:46:36.930] – Weston JollySo, Lily, you’re also saying that what you have to offer is something that could be also very much utilized by the person who has trouble getting food in their mouth.
[00:46:48.350] – Lily GalloYeah. It’s all the same.
[00:46:51.760] – Weston JollyYeah, I know that. But I think it’s important to get that forth because I think a lot of people see it only from the one side. The person who’s bulimic and having trouble allowing that sustenance to stay within themselves has everything to do with you sharing about this topic of self-love because they don’t love themselves, and they have to expel that. And of course, that doesn’t work either. The body has its natural limits in terms of what it can do. We can starve ourselves. Most of us don’t have the capacity to do that- should we say- successfully- and ultimately it doesn’t work, and it’s not healthy. And I’ll just say from my own perspective, it’s not fun. It’s not fun to starve yourself or to repress yourself. When here I would look at you doing what you’re doing and what you’re doing is working. And I’m trying to be overly disciplined in terms of trying to gut it out, so to speak. And I think a lot of people have tried that and sometimes feel very worn down because they have tried so many things, wondering if there’s really something that’s, quote, unquote going to work.
[00:47:59.390] – Lily GalloYeah, yeah. And that idea of look, I just have to resign myself to this is how I’m going to be forever. It makes sense that people would think that way because they feel as though they’ve tried so many things and they’ve failed or been failed by so many things that they just give up. Or they go to this place where they say, okay, body positivity, which I absolutely agree with, but not when it makes someone discontinue their efforts to improve their love for themselves.
[00:48:28.980] – Weston JollySure.
[00:48:30.350] – Lily GalloSo, the movement of body positivity is wonderful, except that it then says, to some people, so then stop trying. Just love yourself now. Absolutely love yourself now. But if there’s more growth that you desire, don’t stop yourself. Find a way that will help you instead of finding something that will work against you, because this whole industry, the whole diet industry is really a big lie. We will tell you things that we don’t even believe- that will not work- and we know it- so that you fall into this trap of doing this until you fail and we get rich.
[00:49:10.140] – Weston JollyWow. That’s incredibly blunt. With that thought, Lily, is what you’re offering insanely expensive?
[00:49:17.510] – Lily GalloNo, it’ll be different for everybody. It’s not going to ever be cost prohibitive, but you will have to pay for something so that you have an incentive to do something. And I’m going to be very upfront with that. That is going to be a fair exchange. And I believe incredibly in the idea that treating yourself to too much food is a form of self-abuse or self-punishment.
[00:49:46.570] – Weston JollySure.
[00:49:47.020] – Lily GalloAnd I don’t believe in that. The same way I don’t believe in someone saying I will do this for free. No, I won’t do this for free in the same way that I don’t believe in someone saying I will do this for a million dollars. No, I won’t require a million dollars.
[00:50:02.330] – Weston JollyRight, right.
[00:50:02.740] – Lily GalloThere needs to be an equitable exchange in every way. So, it’s going to be different for everybody who comes in because everybody who comes in will have their own program.
[00:50:12.000] – Weston JollyFine. You know, Lily, I’m going to say this because I feel this and I really mean it. And I’m able to offer this to anyone who’s listening that has felt comfortable in working with me. Lily, you’re the real deal. Meaning, you’re not putting on a show and tell. And I wouldn’t even invite you to this space to share with me unless I felt that intuitively, which is to say spiritually and certainly from a physical perspective. And we’ve worked together many different kinds of things. I think that can be shared as well. Lily has actually participated with me in doing in professionally editing my writing with regards to my books, et cetera. And I want that to be disclosed because what you are doing here is enabling others to really be empowered, which is something that we share. Meaning, we want to create alignment with someone’s higher self into their physical embodiment, so they get a chance to exercise this opportunity of love that’s divine love/ physical love into this embodiment, and to make these wonderful changes to be happy and joyous. And Lily, I just want to share that whatever cost of your services were, they’re worth every cent. I mean, every cent because they work. You’re talking to someone that number one who has gone through it. Two, who is not just talking to you about again, calories, or the over disciplined, but really getting to what I will call the key issues. And Lily, that’s why I wanted to have you here because I feel like a lot of people try to skip that, and that becomes the root of the frustration. They’re trying to apply themselves externally to these different things. They’re hovering around that scale 24/7, and they never quite get that the correlation of self-love is fun. It’s not a sin. We don’t have to run around feeling shameful and bad and hiding as if these issues and I’m talking about beliefs and or conditions, or perhaps even experiences because you alluded to attributes of abuse that can come through the family tree, of course. And of course, that can have a lot to do with someone’s inability to receive love, right? So, I just want to share with everyone that Lily, you are something extraordinary, special. And someone having the pleasure of working with you should be seen as something that they’re giving a gift to themselves by just introducing themselves to you- with the intention of making the commitment. Because, of course, Lily, as you said, you’re not going to do it for somebody. It has to be done as a result of someone engaging accordingly. If you’re serious about wanting to make a physical change, I think getting in touch with you, Lily, is an extraordinary thing. And of course, I think that you’ll find out as a result of this dialogue that it isn’t just physical. That these are going to lead you into other attributes of awareness. Lily, in closing, if you don’t mind, tell us how this might have changed your spirituality, if you will. Meaning, losing this amount of weight- has it changed any of your ability in terms of your awareness?
[00:53:12.090] – Lily GalloWhen I first started this process, I realize now that I had an idea that things were very separate. I had my physical self separate from my intellectual self, separate from my spiritual self, separate from all different parts. And I think a lot of people who have weight issues do that. We separate ourselves. For me, as a result of abuse. And probably for many people for the same reason. You can hurt my body. But you haven’t gotten to the real me. And so that’s a defense mechanism. Do that to that part of me. But you haven’t really gotten to the “me” part of me. And what this has done has been to integrate it all so that my body is me. My thoughts are me. My intellect is me. My spiritual self is me. All of it is me, and it’s un-hurt-able. It’s untouchable by darkness or things that I don’t like because of the choices that I’ve made. It’s just an integration of all parts of myself and an elevation of the truth, which is that we are loved and that we are in no need of protection because we cannot be hurt.
[00:54:26.190] – Weston JollyI’m smiling. I’m in awe, too. I mean, I have to say that as well. Lily —how do people get a hold of you?
[00:54:35.370] – Lily GalloSend me an email. My email address is just my name with a dash.
[00:54:48.110] – Weston JollyCool. Lily, I just want to literally offer you a sincere bow. We haven’t seen one another because of the interesting times that we’re living in in terms of the pandemic. But I just want to honor you. I’m closing my hands and throwing across my chest and just bowing in your participation. Being here with me clearly and for the benefit of everybody. So thank you so much for coming onto True Connections with me. And it’s been, again, a tremendous pleasure. Thank you.
[00:55:21.380] – Lily GalloWell, thank you so much. It’s been really fun. Bye, everyone.
[00:55:25.750] – Weston JollyI look forward to doing it again.
[00:55:27.970] – Lily GalloYeah, me, too.
[00:55:28.980] – Weston JollyOkay.
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