3 Things That You Worry About Most | True Connections With Weston Jolly – Ep 47

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Episode 047 of True Connections with Weston Jolly

Transcription: 3 Things That You Worry About Most

Everyone slips into thoughts of doubt or even worry. Anyone telling you differently isn’t telling the truth. However, there are a few who have cultivated their minds in such a way that they don’t allow this pattern to take them in directions they don’t want to go.

When I was first learning to drive I was taught off-road. On one occasion it had just rained, and when in rains in the desert it pours, so what was once a dirt road now was the muddiest path I’d ever seen. I turned to my dad, sitting shotgun, for help and he said two things; “Steer away from those deep tire tracks ahead -otherwise we’ll get stuck, and keep your foot on the accelerator to keep us moving forward.”

I’m not sure how old I was at the time, maybe 13, and I’d never driven on anything but dirt before. I didn’t say anything but I knew I had a job to do, but the muddy tire tracks before me were so deep I was certain it would swallow our pickup. I tried hard not to steer into the first rut but my steering wheel immediately jerked out of my hands like I was driving an amusement car with a singular track to follow.

My dad immediately said, “You’re in the rut! You’ve got to steer us out or we’ll get stuck.” I immediately responded, “I can’t, the wheel is out-of-control…” Without listening to another word he said, “You’ve got to steer harder.” I did. I took both arms and pulled as hard as I could on the right side of the wheel and suddenly the truck jumped out of the rut. It happened so quick we almost hit a tree next to the right side of the road.

Dad said in a more relaxed tone, “Atta boy, keep your left front tire on the middle area and your right tire on the shoulder of the road.” I was doing all of this with a fair amount of speed and dad said, “See, you did it.”

I was just about to grin with satisfaction when my tires suddenly slipped back into the muddy tire tracks. Dad yelled, “We’re in the ruts again! Get us out!” I repeated the newly learned pattern in putting all my weight on right side of the steering wheel and sure enough the truck jumped free from the ruts.”

This is important advice to get you out of any worrying ruts that you’ve created.

It doesn’t matter, who caused them, or how long they’ve been there or what duration of time you’ve been feeling out-of-control, in this minute you need to be willing to do only one thing and that’s get out of these deep ruts.

Some part of you may want to tell me a story about the ruts and in this minute I don’t want to hear it. If you’re sincerely interested in getting out of the worrying rut, pull hard to the right of the wheel maintaining or even increasing your speed so you can get out. There is no other way.

I hope to have your full attention. There’s a million things that could have you worried and we’re going to talk about like a few patterns you’ve likely developed but you must know, that on some level, you can stop worrying from the very start. Otherwise, you’ll make the ruts deeper in your analysis and yes, this too is a function of your worrying.

My purpose is to share the three things you’re likely worrying about and give you specific tools to get yourself out of the habit. Know you’ll be breaking some bad habits but it will be worth it. You will find it costs nothing to out of worrying. Certainly, you’ll definitely feel the difference physically and emotionally. The key is knowing that you are free.

Okay, let’s begin listing the top habits and attributes of worrying each immediately followed up with specific instructions in how to break out of the worrying trap.

1. Worrying About Money.

There’s a 99% chance to one that if you’ve ever worried about anything it’s been about money. You may immediately think that the remaining 1% don’t worry about money because they in fact have it. It’s a reasonable thought but worrying doesn’t stop just because you have the thing you’re worrying about. The money worrying about money trap sounds a lot like this.

“I don’t know how I’m going to make it. I don’t have enough money today, this week or even this month. I have all this debt and it’s getting bigger. I worry about money day and night even when I’m trying not too.”

A slightly different version is, “I don’t know where all the money goes… Every time, I’m creating more it’s consumed by some Universal vacuum cleaner. Everything I’m doing demands lots of money and if I don’t keep it flowing everything I’ve created will fall. And no matter what, I have to have it…”

What you’ve just heard is a sink hole in worrying about money. Money isn’t the problem, it’s all in your head. Let me clarify that, it’s all in your head that money is worry worthy. It isn’t. Worrying about money is one of the biggest distractions to living.

If you’re worrying about money consider doing something about it. Start with a new mindset. I can think of a very successful lawyer and executive who never stopped worrying about money and it cost him everything. He lost his relationship, not just with this partner but with his kids too. He still does have some money but unless he stops worrying and fretting about it it will all disappear. Already a great deal has been lost.

If you’re seriously wanting to stop worrying about money then immediately get yourself a copy of Time To Be Rich. It’s a integrative tool in retraining your brain to participate with wealth. If you’re even on the fringe in this category jerk hard on the wheel to get yourself out of your muddy ruts and immediately buy the book. If you already have the book, you need to continue reading and practicing until your focus isn’t on money at all.

2. Worrying About Time.

Time and money seem to go hand and hand. Very early in Steve Jobs life he had money but he was almost certain he was worrying about time. It seems this worry became a reality because his time was cut short, due to pancreatic cancer. Steve’s was always worrying about time.

Steve was constantly competing against the clock. He pressed those that worked for him round the clock because he was at war with time. I think its fair to say he loved what he did and he might have given a fair portion of his wealth to have more time – maybe all of it. I’d say Steve worried a lot.

If you’re worrying about time, you’re not alone. You may think that you’ve wasted time; watching too much TV or not planning to do what you really want in life. Most of us submit to the illusion of time and it ends up ruling us. Worrying about time can be seen when you travel.

If you have plenty of time then you’re not driving fast or hurriedly. If you’re a billionaire, you don’t need a private plane because you’re not worried about time. (In fact, did you know that time management is how most billionaire’s justify the $7,000/hour it costs to fly?) Time is nothing to worry about. But I see it as the second largest expense we have as human beings. Perhaps our worrying about time is even greater than our worry of money.

How can you stop worrying about time? Be present. I know it sounds simple, and maybe because it is too simple, that you might reject the solution before you, but being present is the answer. Time isn’t real.

Everyone will find out, soon enough, even if we all have to die to embrace the concept; time is imaginary. Being present reduces the drag on your mind and body so that you can be free to be in the moment. While I’ve never jumped off a cliff to hang glide, I can imagine taking first flight and being worried about where I am going to land the entire time. The sensations might be thrilling, the views incredible and yet I’m stuck thinking about how and where I am going to land. This example demonstrates how we get sucked into not being present trying to anticipate, or even trying to control, what’s coming next.

You can’t control time. Trying to manage it is another form of buying into the illusion of time and worrying about something that isn’t real is truly silly. Everywhere you have to go you’ll get there but worrying about the trip before you go, during your flight or even after you land is one continuous life suck. Since I haven’t said this before, let me say it now, worrying takes the marrow of life right out of your bones.

I want you to see worrying for what it is, a drain. A big fat energetic drain….

Have you ever taken a timed examination? Did you ever occur to you that you may not have enough time? This thought is the gateway drug to worry. There have been times I’ve completely choked in taking a test because I was so worried about time.

How about you?

Let’s really focus on being present. If you meditate, which is an incredible tool, try doing the meditation with a timer. The very fact that you have use a timer you can stop worrying about the time. Then, in clearing your mind of any thoughts, just focus on your breathing and let the meter of time run without you being controlled by it.

3. Worrying About Relationships.

This is an easy number number three in our collective choice to worry. Just recently, my wife and I were sharing a wonderful moment with some dear dear friends at their home in Sedona. After spending the day doing pretty much nothing we sat outside in nature early in the evening catching up on every topic imaginable. At one point, I set my wine glass down and said, “I have to apologize to you guys.”

Both of our hosts stiffened in their chairs and looked at me very attentively. I said, “I judged both of you when your kids when in their thirties…” I remember telling Karen, “How is it that you guys are so worried about your kids when they’re all grown?”

Our hosts both laughed and said, “So, you don’t think we’re so silly now?” “On the contrary…” I continued, “We’ve never been so involved with our kids! Maybe, dare I say, too much so?” Our friends laughed even harder.

Yes, I’m saying that I have worried about some of my relationships. Maybe you can relate to this too. There are people who worry that they won’t have a personal relationship. Then there are the people who worry about how to get out of a relationship when it’s no longer what they want. Then there’s the relationships that tend to be not so easy to dismiss.

Perhaps you have a parent who is on the fence with his or her health. The energy consumed by you worrying about them, is as futile as your worrying about time or money. Again, it’s just an energetic suck. The question is how do you stop worrying about your relationships?

It’s easy. Pretend you don’t have one. Let me make this even easier. Let’s say you’re not in a relationship, do you worry about a relationship that you don’t have?

How does being in a relationship cause you to worry? It comes from attachment. Being attached isn’t something at all that is encouraged. Sure I have children, but they’re grown adults. There’s no need for me to worry.

And if you carry this backward, there’s no gain in me having worried about my kids during their teenage years. We worry in relationships because of our attachment. This attachment can be for yourself or the other person or even both parites.

Imagine being in a relationship, and wanting out, while also worrying that “no one would want to be in a relationship with you.” So, you’re stuck in a cycle of worry. Until one day, seemingly out-of-the-blue, your spouse walks up and informs you that they want out. It’s what you wanted, but instead of expressing yourself, you continue worrying. Just about different things.

This original worry is substituted for another worry that you no one wants to be in a relationship with you. Then, maybe you start worrying about time or even money? Pretty cool huh? You went from one worry to worrying about our top three worries; money, time and relationship.

When you worry you’re inviting energy and manifestation in ways you don’t want. Again, how do you stop worrying about your relationships? Well, you have to stop being attached. Simple right? It’s just like worrying about time, you may have already heard the encouragement to be present but the question is are you?

If you want to stop worrying about your relationships you have to detach. You can’t continue carrying the weight and the stress of worrying. Think of carrying 500 lbs of weights that constitute your worries. It’s heavy and it’s a burden.

If you’re wanting to create a relationship, take away any of these same weights of worry that you won’t have one. Let your request of the Universe be the seed that it is. Trust the process, and that your participation is to plant the seed of desire. Then you will be presented the opportunity to watch your favorite flower bloom.

Worrying at large is the antithesis of your natural ability to create. Interestingly, worry is so commonly accepted that a great portion of the world accepts it as normal as if there’s nothing that can be done beyond dull or even numb it. If you’ve tried numbing yourself when you’re worrying you may experienced a very temporal relief but when the worry comes back it’s usually heavier than ever. Can I share a real life example?

Anthony* (not his real name) flew into Phoenix from the East Coast to spend several days with me for an extended personal intensive mostly concerning his poor health. The marijuana, alcohol, hard drugs and especially overeating, was being used to try and cope with worry and fear. As with all addictions, and I’m speaking in this moment of the addiction to worrying, trying to cover the anguish with any of the aforementioned substances wasn’t working. He knew it but he couldn’t remove himself from the ruts.

Worry is a weight, a stress and a habit and even an addiction to which there is no end. As soon as one thing is resolved the mind immediately goes to replace the old worry with a new one. One worry is transferred to another.

It’s quite common to experience a feeling of helplessness. If we went back to the beginning analogy of driving in the mud pulling on the steering wheel left or right isn’t enough to get you out. This is where the use of the accelerator is used.

You need power and momentum to enable you to steer aggressively to get out of the ruts. This is the real secret to eliminating all worry. Listen carefully… You can rid yourself of any worry that you’ve ever had by connecting to an omnipotent power called Source. If you really connect to Source you can’t worry.

Connecting to Source is the fuel that takes you forward. If you step on the gas using the energy of Source and you’re willing to pull really really hard on the wheel you’ll find you pop out of the ruts of worry. Certainly, there’s more but if you’re really stuck worrying obsessively then you’ve got to start here.

it’s a simple thing really. Just stay connected to Source and pull as hard as you can on the wheel and you’ll bounce out of worrying. Right behind the habit of worry may be thoughts of fear but this can be easily mastered in some deliberate practice.

In summary, What Are You Worried About?

The nature of your worry isn’t the real problem. But let’s run through the top three worries most of us employ. One, worrying about money is solved with a new mindset. If you determine to purchase the book Time To Be Rich you’ll find it’s pivotal in your creating a new alignment with money. Two, worrying about time is solved in your being present. Being present can be accomplished through meditation or even putting focused attention into doing something productive, versus spinning your wheels.

Three, worrying about your relationships, the ones you have, the ones you don’t, and the ones you want to create is all done in detaching. I didn’t talk much about trust but you’re going to have to trust Source in detaching. Finally, if you’re focused on Source, and you are genuinely connected you can’t be worrying. The reason is because these two energies are opposites.

The energy of Source is making deposits and the energy of worrying is a drain of your resources; mentally and physically. Connecting to Source will enable you to calm your mind to a point that it never is allowed to become a runaway train without any kind of direction. Focused practice in your individual spiritual connection will steer you clear of any undesired thinking and emotional churning or worrying.

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