After providing over 15,000 hours in session and speaking, I recognize that… “You’re much stronger and more empowered than you think you are…”
How to Stop Letting Your Soul Get Bullied Around
Learning how to not let yourself be bullied, on any level, is something worth knowing.
How to stop letting yourself being bullied begins with you. Learning how to stand strong against bullies begins by learning about the bullying cycle. You don’t have to suffer through any kind of bullying, intimidation, manipulation or even abuse. Freeing your soul from people pushing or pulling you is key.
Only narcissists love bullying. And there’s a real easy way to confront such people and energy so that you’re soul can be set free.
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Episode 050 of True Connections with Weston Jolly
Transcription: How to Stop Letting Your Soul Get Bullied Around
You may think that your soul can’t be bullied and openly you’re right. But what if you soul wasn’t able to express itself due to bullying? It can get worse and often does. What if your soul has been abused? This may sound dark, and it is for those to consciously participate in such acts.
We all need to be accountable.
I’m more interested in talking to you because after all if you’ve ever been bullied it isn’t cool. Learning how to not let yourself be bullied, on any level, is something worth sharing. I’m hoping you’ll pay special attention because we have to stop bullying each other. Let me rephrase this, I have to stop bullying people around.
I’m putting this in the first person because we all need to be accountable. This means on both sides of the equation. I’ve been bullied. I’ve bullied others. Maybe you have some of your own personal experience in around the subject of bullying.
Have you ever played “tug of war?” You and all your friends stand on one side of the rope while the opposing team captain, with all of his or her friends, start to pull in the opposite direction.
Anyone who has participated in this game knows that the team with the strongest desire combined with strength and weight are favored to win. Let’s change the mechanics of the game a little.
Instead of using a rope between the two sides I want you to imagine a twenty foot long aluminum pole. Instead of pulling a rope in the game tug-of-war, in this variation of the game, the rod is used to push the team back further into their territory. The side that is able to push the other team back and cross the middle wins.
Every time that you allow yourself to be pushed or pulled you’re letting your soul get bullied.
I’m sorry to be the one that has to tell you this, but you’ve been pushing and pulling others around as much as any bully. You make think that’s not the case but the odds are great that you’ve done it. I’ll use myself as an example.
I want to introduce you to three people. Greg Luther was a classmate that was in my kindergarten class through fourth grade. Greg only had a thumb and his first finger. This was true for both hands. Greg had a fiery temper and was also a little smaller than the rest of the boys in our class.
Next, let me introduce you to Vicki Greer. I went to kindergarten through fourth grade with Vicki who also had the exact same issue with her hands. She had other issues too, but she only had a thumb and her first finger on both hands.
If you’re wondering how it would be possible that two kids had the same disability with their hands I can’t possibly tell you. However, nothing is by chance. I’m sharing this because of what I’m about to say. I used to tease and even bully Greg.
I did it because the other boys did it.
Greg would get mad if someone would say that his hands looked like pinchers or robotic claws. And as soon as you’d say something like that he’d run as fast as he could to attack you with his hands clinched ready to fight. You can’t blame him he was being bullied. By one kid in particular.
Vicki had the same bullying issue. To make things more complicated Vicki also had some surgery whereby clear tubes were inserted in her nose. I don’t know what the tubes were for or exactly where the other end of the tubes went, but Vicki often talked with a nasally kind of voice. Again, this is in addition to both of her hands being limited to two fingers each. A thumb and a forefinger.
You know what? I don’t remember one time teasing or making fun or bullying Vicki. Not once. If anything, her challenges appeared to be even more severe than Greg’s. So, why didn’t I bother Vicki? Well, for one thing the other kids weren’t doing it. Well, that isn’t true. It was the girls who were doing it, just not the boys.
There was some kind of unspoken rule that the boys didn’t mess with Vicki only Greg. Lest, you think my school didn’t care about bullying they did. Every time that I, or any the other boys were caught bullying Greg, we would have to sit out the rest of recess on the steps. It was punishment, it was the equivalent as the “sin bin” or penalty box used for Hockey or Rugby.
This didn’t change our behavior as much as it meant that we’d try to bully Greg without getting caught.
If we’re found rough housing or fighting, Greg would often be penalized too. This was completely unfair because he was only protecting himself from our collective bullying.
Lastly, I like to introduce you to Michael Burchfield. I bullied Michael because other kids did. I was much older. I bullied Michael in or around high school. Why? Because he had red hair, was extremely smart and he was socially awkward. All of these being absolutely horrible reasons to bully anybody.
All three of these souls were bullied.
They are; Greg, Vicki and Michael. I was clearly involved, not the ring leader, but absolutely involved. Well, let’s widen the scope of all these examples. Let me take you back to my being age four. At this age, I had already been badly bullied. Once from a kid down the street, who almost four years older than me. I was beat up. I have no idea why.
It happened again, when my parent’s moved us to a new house and into a new neighborhood. Again, I was only four years old when two boys came over and introduced themselves. Suddenly, one boy grabbed both of my arms behind my back as the other hit me again and again in the stomach. There wasn’t a reason. At least one that I was aware of.
I was more emotionally hurt than physically. I came home in both instances and I was taught to fight. I guess to some degree it’s reasonable but what I ended up practicing was bullying others so that I wouldn’t be bullied again. I was bullied twice at four years old and so I begin my acts of revenge at five or in Kindergarten.
Hey, by the way, I’ve used everyone’s real name because each individual should know how truly sorry I am for my participation in bullying. What does the two different kinds of tug of war examples have to do with these four people? (I thought I’d include myself too.) The rope or pole versions of tug-a-war represent the opposite version of bullying in the pushing and pulling effect.
When I was being bullied I was the one being pushed.
Try and see this as my being pushed by people on the other end of the pole. And then, in my own example, it only took me a year – age five – to begin pulling people on the other end of the rope in my bullying them. The question I hope you’re asking at this point is; “How do you stop letting your soul get bullied around?”
1. You have know if you’re bullying or if that you’re being bullied.
I didn’t really know what bullying was at four. Certainly, I did to some degree when I participated in bullying at the age of five. I’m still not sure I knew what the word or concept really meant, but I did understand the meaning on a visceral level. Enough to know I hated it, and enough to know I wanted to protect myself from it. That is, I’d rather be the bully than the target.
How then do we use our awareness to get out of being bullied or bullying ourselves? I can think of two sisters and a brother, that I know and love very much, that we’re bullied harshly. Truthfully, it was abuse. Here’s the rub, these wonderful siblings didn’t know that they had been bullied. All of their lives are far from perfect, but they’ve each offered love to others instead of any kind of retaliatory revenge or bullying. This has created a problem. Here’s why.
When you are bullied long enough there can be an unconscious thought that this is how it is.
That is, this kind of individual, might expect to be bullied, treated harshly or even abusively and not know that they are even being pushed around. Your soul knows, even if you don’t think you can discern through any kind of psychological awareness.
In this example, a mom can be bullying her daughters and “the girls” may have determined that they deserve to be bullied. The opposite can take place where the boy is being bullied by the dad. My point is that this isn’t limited to one parent but both. This means anyone who can spot the bullying pattern in such kids, even as grown ups, can step in and take advantage of any one of the siblings as their parents once did. Do you want to stop allowing your soul to be bullied?
Then, you have to stop thinking, consciously or not, that they’re on some level it’s okay. This means you need to believe that they are in fact being a bully. The moment you determine that you’re done being bullied then it won’t happen any more. The bullies will go find someone else to harass with intent to make them feel small. You have to know that you’re being bullied.
I need now to address if you are the one bullying.
At age five and even in high school and to some degree college as well, I was bullying. I didn’t tell you, but I was bullied before age four. I can’t blame the kids down the street or anyone in a classroom or anywhere else in life. It started first at home.
I think a lot of men, are starting to understand their personal actions as a result of the #Metoo movement. Sexual abuse starts is stronger form of bullying. I’m starting with the bullying attribute because if your soul has had enough then you can stop bullying, manipulation, intimidation and “yes, even abuse.” Men, have commonly used their presence, power, position or even their strength to bully.
For example, have you ever been bullied by a man? You don’t have to be a woman to be bullied by a man. And men don’t own exclusive rights to being a part of the bullying club. Here’s the deal, if you can’t determine that you’re being bullied it’s going to be almost impossible to remove yourself from any cyclic patterns. Sometimes people think that it’s being impolite to stand up to bullies. It’s rude or improper.
This can sound like, “We all know this is happening but we don’t want to embarrass the family… (The message? Shut up and let it happen.) Or this is just is how it is. You get bullied by another and you’re supposed to take it. Another form of this is; “I don’t believe that they are bullies” when in fact they are.”
2. If you are bullying or being bullied I bet your soul is tired of the same old pattern.
As I’ve implied, lots of bullying takes place because it was done to you. If you were hurt you step into a position of bullying to protect yourself from being hurt by hurting others. To make a change you have to take accountability. This sounds so easy but much of the time it comes with a bunch of excuses.
When I actually confronted my mom about her bullying tactics she said, “Well, at least I’m better than my mom.”
This is like saying, I didn’t beat you as hard as I got beat.
In truth, it’s the same. Bullies who aren’t accountable become bullies by default. And you don’t have to be bullied to become one, you can just step into bullying techniques and behaviors.
Let me share something… Do you personally think that you need to nice to everyone? If you do, this is going to include bullies. This is exactly the kind of trap that bullies will exploit because you may be playing by a different set of rules than they are. Specifically, that you have to be nice to bullies but they don’t have to be nice to you. But do you have too?
Unfortunately, if you’re always being nice, accommodating, loving and turning the other check you may need to learn to stand strong. Anyone can say stand strong, but what does the phrase actually mean? It means no more bulling period.
Consider zero tolerance as your measurement. This means nobody gets to bully, and this means you don’t get to bully. No exceptions. All of the warfare with ropes or poles in effect to push or pull others around has to stop. If your soul is generally tired of it, you’re going to have to join the group and express.
3. Confronting bullies.
I know. I know. If you’re used to being nice then speaking up can feel like you’re being cruel or maybe you could think that your expressing is akin to being a bully. It isn’t. And there may be times that you have to speak in stand strong like way to properly communicate. I actually think of it like communicating in barbaric language.
You may also think that by confronting the bullying energy that you’re setting yourself up to really get hurt. Let’s say that you don’t like to fight and therefore you avoid it at all costs. This is exactly what the bullies want as they exploit -your being small, weak or even enslaved.
You need to address that you may, in certain circumstances, need to communicate with strength to create a new path in going forward.
You may need to be harsh so that the bully understands your sincerity. For the narcissist bully, I would suggest that you express strongly with a lot of people surrounding you. Sometimes, you may need to go on national TV.
It was almost a year ago, that Christine Blasey Ford stood strongly to confront bullying and sexual abuse. I am sure you still remember, it was during the confirmation hearings surrounding Brett Kavanaugh consideration to be a Supreme Court judge. Regardless of the outcome, stand strong. Do so in whatever means that best allows your soul to be free.
Your soul will absolutely rejoice, once you’re clear having to; tolerate, be quiet, accommodate, or be passive. If confronting a bully is necessary, do it from a place of strength. Confronting bullies goes a long way in demanding a zero tolerance. If you’ve already figured this out, then bullies don’t like to be bullied either. Careful here, I’m not suggesting that you become a bully but rather stand strong in a way that this isn’t ever going to happen.
4. Turn yourself loose.
Does your soul need to abide by any rules? You should ask your Higher Self within. You’ll find that there aren’t any rules to follow. Amazing. Right?
Turning yourself loose means being truthful with yourself.
If you want to continue to be bullied honor the fact. If indeed, your soul is tired of being bullied step into your true empowerment. Sometimes it can help to reconnect to why you came into your body, this earth, and even during this time period. Reconnecting to your original spiritual blueprint, as I call it -which is your original goals and plans before inhabiting your body – can be super helpful.
Stated simply, if your original plans didn’t include being bullied then put a stop to it. If your spiritual plans did include some push and pull, bullying or much worse, honor it but not in the sense that you’re enslaved to it. Turn yourself loose.
In conclusion, How to Stop Letting Your Soul Get Bullied Around is done in four easy steps. First, you have know if you’re bullying or if that you’re being bullied. Breathe in your soul knows if you’re being bullied or if you’re bullying. Feel it. Know it.
Secondly, If you are bullying or being bullied I bet your soul is tired of the same old pattern. Whether you were bullied or not, the buck stops with you. No one else. This means no pretending that bullies are good for our economy, our families, or our personal relationships.
Thirdly, confronting bullies will put an end to it. If it’s necessary for you to communicate your boundaries with barbaric means to speak the bullying language so be it. Further, get help. You don’t have to confront a bully alone.
Fourthly, Turn yourself loose. There are no rules. Let yourself be free to address any energy that is pushing or pulling at you. You can feel it. Another way of turning yourself loose is to detach. Detach from the idea
None of us can really grow up, physically, mentally or even spiritually unless we loose the compulsion to bully. This also means; intimidation, manipulation or abuse. Bullying is bulling. Remember zero tolerance.
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